Samizdata

I last logged out leaving the Samizdata just as I like it. There was a place for everything and everything was in its place. Yes, it may have been a bit shambolic and d&eacutemod&eacute but it was comforting and familiar like an old friend or a favourite armchair.

Only look at what has happened! I turn my back for a few hours and some anally-retentive busybodies have gone and called in the Feng Shui consultants. Now my loveable, historical old Blog has been has been consigned to the scrap heap and replaced with this ultra-hi-tech, cutting-edge, state-of-the-art thingy which they are probably going to tell me has been conceived for ‘balance’ or ‘harmony’ or ‘enhanced Chi‘ or something.

And as if that act of wanton cultural vandalism was not enough they have also furnished me with a new-fangled set of coding instructions with ‘stylesheets’ and ‘javascript’ and ‘xhtml’ this and ‘attribute’ that. The whole thing reads like stereo-assembly instructions. How is this old dog supposed to learn all these new tricks? It took me look enough to programme me the first time round. They will doubtless have to ship me off to the manufacturer now to be re-chipped and re-booted.

Or maybe they are planning to give me a make-over. Yes, I bet they are. After all age and experience counts for nothing these days. It’s all about image, image, image and daresay I am no longer regarded as sufficiently ‘happening’ anymore. I can see myself now, being prodded and poked around by a squadron of invidious design-gurus (“Dahhling, that haircut is just sooooo 2003″).

I would write a letter of complaint to these soulless technocrats but what good would it do? Besides they have all probably swanned off to some fashionable Islington eatery where they are quaffing down the polenta with rocket salad and feeling very smug about being so ‘cool’ and a la mode.

Bah! It’s all humbug.