The French Government has reacted with fury to the news that Saddam Hussein has been captured by US forces.
Speaking to reporters in Paris this evening, the Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin, denounced the arrest of the former Iraqi leader as ‘an act of international piracy’:
“Saddam Hussein has been kidnapped by America. You cannot simply seize and detain people without proper negotiations. The Americans should have given more thought beforehand. This situation requires the careful application of justice not cowboy tactics”
His words were echoed at a meeting of EU Ministers in Brussels this evening. Speaking on behalf of the assembled ministers, Dutch Commissioner Willy Van Der Pimp issued a warning to the Americans not to ‘go it alone’:
“If the Americans think that they alone can administer justice, then they are very mistaken. The international community will not tolerate being ignored in this fashion. Europe has a vital role to play in deciding the future of Saddam Hussein”
The Council of Ministers will meet again tomorrow in emergency session to draw up an action plan.
Sadly,what you write as satire only rings as entirely too believeable.
“The international community will not tolerate being ignored in this fashion.”
Oh really? What’s the international community doing to do about it?
And neither Iraq nor the US are parties to the ICC, so it has no jurisdiction. There is no way that son of a bitch gets to live out his life in a Dutch prison.
The Iraqis are happy to send him to hell.
It’s the Iraqis’ call. Dominque should just go away and figure out a new hairstyle.
“Europe has a vital role to play in deciding the future of Saddam Hussein”
He has a future?
Wait,that was satire,wasn’t it?!?
I can never be really sure with you europeans.
Yup Doug, he has a future. First he meets the Iraqi War crime courts, then if it’s the will of the Iraqi people he’ll get hung till he’s dead.
M.,
David’s tone is often satiric (splendidly so), but he doesn’t write satire in the sense you use the word. This post is genuine, and I don’t think David is amused. I certainly am not.
M.,
I just read it again and you were right! I must be losing my sense of humor.
The category Humour in the header should considerably clarifying the intentions of the author…
Really, you may call it satire…but i’ve got 50 bucks that says this comes true within a week…including the major players mentioned (aside from Van Der Pimp 🙂 ) Not to mention i’m sure the ever-angery Dean will be working overtime to come up with an angle to denounce this on. Gah, its like the people using a hyperbole a decade ago about “what are you going to sue manufacturers for next? making food too fatty??” At any rate expect the usual suspects to start bleating about desperately needing the ICC. I’m rather curious about what our military allies (ones contributing soldiers) will back, hopefully our own plan of forming an Iraqi tribunal. Seems to me that anyhow its a moot point though, we’ve already all but guaranteed the Iraqis Saddam. I hope for Saddam and the Baathists they’ll momentarily revert to the ole’ Hammurabic code and just pronounce “off with their heads!”
Er, sorry, Adriana. I’ll try to read the headers more carefully in the future. So stupid of me . . .
I believed it. :-O
The humour could simply have been how over the top the EUcracy was going.
Seriously, I gather the British have just persuaded the US to drop the death penalty for Saddam. The trial would be in an Iraqi court.
Surely the British, with their experience of not having Bonaparte executed, then having to fight him again, can’t be serious about dropping the death penalty!
Shouldn’t this be up to the Iraqis?
Meanwhile, in the real world, here’s what the French leader actually said:
“French President Jacques Chirac, a firm opponent of the U.S.-led war that toppled Saddam, said the former dictator’s capture was “a major event that should strongly contribute to democracy and stability in Iraq,” according to his spokeswoman, Catherine Colonna.”
There wasn’t any EU statement, but here’s what the UN had to say:
“In New York, U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan (news – web sites) said in a statement that Saddam’s capture could help stabilize Iraq.
“It offers an opportunity to give fresh impetus to the search for peace and stability in Iraq, on the basis of an inclusive and fully transparent process,” Annan said. He reiterated U.N. readiness “to do everything possible to help Iraqis, if asked and as circumstances permit.” ”
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=535&ncid=535&e=4&u=/ap/20031214/ap_on_re_mi_ea/saddam_world
It’s a sad reflection on the depraved depths to which the EU/UNichs have decended that one has to point out the satirical nature of this post to many who read it.
…or maybe the sad depths of delusion to which the anti-EU/UN-niks (I like EU-niks as a phrase!) have descended. Who can say?
I’m glad the British did’nt catch him.
Jack Straw would have given him a written warning,found him a safe Labour seat, or made him a European commissioner for Muslamic affairs.
Tally, how right you are! I still remember than photo, about a year ago, of Jack Straw shaking their hands and congratulating six or seven male illegal immigrants as they crawled out of the back of a trans-Channel lorry. Jack Straw and the entire British cabinet, including Tony Blair, are old Trots, CNDers and one-worlders.
Abby – Yes, I missed the Humour category as well. I’ll pay attention next time.
It is only a matter of time before the Euros start trying to save his life. Presidential wannabe John McCain, who should know better after spending some time at the Hanoi Hilton, has already begun to demand that Saddam be tried in the International Criminal Court. If I had any respect for McCain, it would have evaporated in that instant.
Of course, once the Euros get him, they will never give him back to the Iraqis to execute.
One hopes that the Iraqis never turn him over to Euro justice, but you never know what twists and turns . . . .
Tally, nice idea – Saddam would fit very neatly into George Galloway’s constituency, come to think of it, and I’m sure GG would be delighted to step aside in favour of his old chum.
Oh, crap.
I thought those comment were real too. 😛
Good job.
Or maybe, it’s just too easy to satirize.
Please tell me that “Willy Van Der Pimp” is a real name! That would so make my day!
Brock
Brock,
Let’s just say, he is an amalgam.
More French bashing! How sophisticated. Why does it seem Britain is wallowing in irrationality and resentment these days? And when its not the French its Bush. Inferiority complex?
nyfriend: the British right at least doesn’t seem to suffer from that form of penis envy.