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Make jokes about Islam! Yes, make jokes about it, so says Afshin Ellian, an Iranian dissident.
There are a couple very interesting articles over on the Social Affairs Unit blog about Afshin Ellian. As I have been saying, the voices of intolerance cannot be appeased, they need to be uncompromisingly confronted and ideally they should be confronted not just by secular westerners but by other Muslims.
Okay, so did you hear the one about the Imam, his two wives and a goat…
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The one thing I miss most about the Cold War is the jokes. The peoples of the USSR and Eastern Europe had a tradition of dark humor and under communism it came out in full force.
Ronald Reagan used to feed some of the jokes back to Gorbo and it drove the last top commie crazy.
My favorite was the story about the American and the Russian who argue – The Yank says “I can go into Ronald Reagan’s office and pund on the desk and tell him I don’t like the way he’s running the country.”
The Russian replies “We have the exact same freedom , I can go into Gorbachev’s office , pound on his desk and tell him that I don’t like the way Ronald Reagan is running his country.”
The day jokes like that start circulating in Riyad and Karachi is the day will will start really winning this war.
Would you like to give us a few samples, Perry – to get us going? The problem is, Islam is such a grim belief-set, it’s hard to see the humour … and, other than Ali G, has there ever been a Muslim comedian?
The missles fly in 10 minutes!!!!!!!
The “cant hug children with nuclear arms” peace creeps offer to become human shields in moscow. 🙂
Taylor says: Ronald Reagan used to feed some of the jokes back to Gorbo and it drove the last top commie crazy.
I think this most unlikely, given that he was so keen on divesting the USSR of communism, interested in engaging with the West and was, as Maggie Thatcher said, “a man we can do business with”.
I think the actor behind Ali G is Jewish, actually. His name is Sacha Baron Cohen, and I’ve never yet met a Cohen who wasn’t Jewish.
Verity, Ali G is a comedian named Sascha Baron Cohen whose act takes the proverbial out of the British ‘Tim Westwood’ upper-middleclass types who try and act ‘streetwise’ and ‘hip’.
Beck and Julian Taylor – No shit! And this is known to so few! I feel like such a fool!
Next time I’ll hang an *IRONY ALERT * around my posts, although this may dampen the element of surprise, on which humour is based.
Dear god. And you’re talking about making jokes about Islam?
Ayesha comes to Khadija Bibi,and confides with her “Today I enjoyed the pleasures of the flesh. Mohammed came to me and told me that I had the gates to Heaven here between my legs. Then he said that he had the key to Heaven, and he put it in the gates.”
“BASTARD!” cried Khadija Bibi . “For years he told me it was Gabriel’s trumpet and I have been blowing it.”
Nice one Verity!
I’m having the same problem finding deliberately funny muslims.
There is a woman in Britain who does stand up and is muslim, but as you can tell from the way her name isn’t scorched into my brain, she isn’t very funny.
The goodness Gracious Me crew were hindu. You can have a laugh and a drink with Hindus.
The most fun you can have with Muslims is recycleing.
John Sobieski – and this is a joke about Islam, as opposed to a joke about an Irish priest and Colleen and Brigitte …. how?
What does it point to about Islam that makes it apt? Just a dirty joke with the names changed.
You people are proving my point for me.
Sufi Muslims can be very, very funny, at least if you like humor that’s more like Zen Buddhism than anything else.
And there’s normally some kind of philosophical point, like this one:
More Nasrudin anecdotes at nasrudin.org
But of course most other Muslims consider the Sufi sect to be the worst heresy since the Prophet lived (they’re the only Muslims who are technically allowed to lie about their faith to save their life!)
… as the comment:
(note necessity of emoticon to emphasise “laugh here”) proves my point I forgot to express in this thread for me. Rational Individualist or Socialist Worker Humour, anyone? “At their expense” is cheating. It has to be self-denigrating or at least self-tickling.
David Mercer – More Nasrudin anecdotes at nasrudin.org
Thanks. I was scared to go there in case I was tempted to steal his material.
Any Islamic jokes? Perry suggests Islamic jokes. Can we find some?
My point here is, there aren’t any. For the same reason there weren’t any Alastair Campbell jokes for the first five years of Alastair Campbell’s regime.
Bullying works.
The Imam calls in his two wives, Fatima and Ameena and their goat Farook. He looks at them with a tear in his eye and says to them that it was not Allah’s will that a man should have more that two wives.
“Oh right then,” Fatima replied, “I’ll pack my things. I guess Ameena can feed Farook.”
Muslims do make fun of their mullahs. Google Mullah Nasruddin (a character in Iranian folklore) for lots of samples. Some are pretty funny too:
Balian, yup, that’s the one!
Balian, yup, that’s the one!
In what sense, Perry? I thought we were talking about the religion of Islam, not a primitive tribe somewhere in the Hindu Kush.
I have yet to see an Islamic joke, as opposed to a Jewish joke which is so specific it could only apply to Jews.
I am waiting.
Someone make a joke about Islam.
Some forms of Islam limit a man to two wives only these days, so it is specific to Islam. You don’t have to find it funny Verity, but that is what it is about.
When I first heard that one it was being told by a muslim (in Bosnia) but I guess it is fairly well known as someone else has obviously heard it too.
Look, I have been reading nasrudin (nasruddin?) jokes for decades, but not one of them poked fun at Islam, only at either him or his interlocutor.
A joke from an Islamic country does not count as an Islamic joke.
You guys (and gals) are so serious about your jokes!
The woman whose name RAB couldn’t remember is Shazia Mirza. Also recommended: Omid Djalili, an English-Iranian comedian and actor. But I’m no comedy-circuit habitué. Just because you haven’t heard of Muslim comedians doesn’t mean either that they don’t exist or that they aren’t funny. Nor are Muislim comedians necessarily telling many jokes much different from anyone else.
Jokes about things generally require familiarity with them. Jokes about ideas tend not to be widely understood enough for many people to find them funny–witness the failure of my joke about “market failure” a while back. In general they tend to be about people or words.
There are plenty of Catholic jokes about priests and Jewish jokes about rabbis, but I’m not aware of many jokes about the content of those religions. They probably only circulate in seminaries and yeshivas, where the audience will get them.
Recognisably “communist” jokes were essentially social: about the contrast between party propaganda and real life. Undoubtedly repressive Arab countries have this sort of joke too, but they wouldn’t be about Islam itself any more than we have English jokes about the 39 Articles.
Most people who belong to a religion just do it to a greater or lesser extent. They don’t necessarily know enough about it for idea-based jokes to flourish. And since Islam is practiced in a vast range of different social contexts, the jokes in Islamic groups will necessarily be different in different places.
Don’t expect to hear them if you don’t live in those places, or to get them if by chance you do hear them. I might get a joke told by a Muslim from London or Leeds. But I’m not confident I’ll grasp what someone from Dearborn, MI is going on about, never mind Ougadougou or Kirghizstan.
The “Islamic joke” is likely as fictional as the Ummah.
I’ve read jokes on the 39 articles, but they tended to be in pretty specialist magazines. My guess is that most Muslim theological journals are less irreverent, but you can probably find the occasional one. It seems particularly likely that there are numbers of Sunni jokes about Shia beliefs and vice versa. Most of the jokes on the 39 articles weren’t funny even to most Anglicans, though. There’s no reason why any of us would have heard their equivalent, so it seems to me that their existence is not a matter that we can have an educated opinion on (although we can certainly say “Puritans! Of course they have no jokes!”
Long bizarre rant deleted by Admin. The topic is making jokes about Islam, not “Who is God”, thank you very much.
Q: Why aren’t there any Muslims in Star Trek?
A: Because it’s set in the future.
I prefer these kind of jokes, which are more of the ‘insert religion here’ type,
You could always try The Life and Times of Ahmed and Mohammed
Here’s a sample:
WHY WAIT FOR A NATURAL DEATH?
Reserve a spot in Paradise today!
* * *
Begin your stay in Paradise with a getaway package to an exotic location! Enjoy a comfortable, infidel-free environment with an emphasis on friendship and camaraderie. That’s the way we play.
There must be very few specifically religious jokes because anything that specific will be understood only by the priesthood and academic theologians. It will be a sign of health when Islam is the religion inserted in generic jokes, like that offered by Julian above. That is what is not (or only very rarely) happening now.
It’s also unlikely that this is the kind of forum that will attract people who’ll know Islam intimately enough to know how to crack a good joke about its theology. I’d wager that if you asked a cafe full of Sufis to tell a good Eskimo joke, they’d be a bit lost. That wouldn’t mean Eskimos were humourless, just that Sufis didn’t know much about igloos.
Quite so.
The joke Balian correctly identified was told to me by a Muslim in Mostar in the mid 1990’s but as most of the people I was with during that period were Catholic Croatians, I heard many (often very nasty) jokes about muslims-as-ethnic-Bosnians, but that was the only one I heard with any reference to Islam as such (i.e. the fact a man should not have more than two wives… and of course in Bosnia muslims are entirely non-polygamist).
OK. Make jokes (while the sun shines) – But only until Tony Blair makes it illegal by forcing through his so-called Racial and Religious Hated Bill.
I bet he will be lining up Police chiefs to tell us how it might have prevented something or other bad too.
Hint, read Rumi. He has a great one about a servant woman having sex with a harnesed donkey with a device around its penis. Then her mistress asks her if she could use the donkey. The servant replies the mistress wouldn’t know what she’s doing. The mistress slips into the donkey stable at night and does the dirty donkey, but doesn’t know that she has to put on the penis devise. The donkey rips her in half.
Funny isn’t it?
Actually, while you are looking for possible islamic jokes check out Rabbia, an islamic mystic, in one of her stories the Kabba actually gets up, leaves Mecca, and goes to her.
Now if only we can find a Islamic equivelent to the joke about the Jewish Samuri.
Peace,
Chris
Balian, this is a nice try, but I’m afraid that Farook is a male name.
Pavel,
Maybe Muslims are not so homophobic as you thought!!
Two Hamas fathers:
One has his wallet out showing pictures to the other man: here is Mohammed, Abdulla, Yasser…
Second man: Yes they blow up so fast don’t they?
_______
A man walks into a sex shop in Jerusalem looking for a sex doll.
Clerk: So what kind do you want? Jewish, Christian or Muslim?
Man confused: What’s the difference?
Clerk: The Muslim one blows itself up.
“There are plenty of Catholic jokes about priests and Jewish jokes about rabbis, but I’m not aware of many jokes about the content of those religions.”
Guy, surely you didn’t mean that. Jewish jokes are nothing if not about the content of their religion and culture, and how they perceive it. A woman about her brilliant son who wants to leave Judaism, “OK, OK! If you want to be an atheist, then please God, you’ll be an atheist.” A man murders his mother and trips while moving her body downstairs and a voice says, “Did you hurt yourself, bubbela?” These were the only two I could remember offhand, but we all know squillions of Jewish jokes and they’re funny because they fit in with what we know about Judaism and what we’ve observed of our Jewish friends and colleagues. (I’ve just realised that Jewish humour is seldom cruel.)
And think of the legions of jokes about Catholics and priests and the CoE. Billions. And Methodists.
Here’s a joke told by Rabbi Lionel Blue – not religious, but I’ll throw it in as this topic has been short on humour: Two Englishmen go into a restaurant in Paris and order soup. On man spots a dead fly in his soup and calls the waiter over. He points at his soup. The haughty waiter asks what’s wrong, and the Englishman, pointing says, “Le mouche!” The waiter draws himself up in disdain and says, “La mouche!”
“Cor!” says the Englishman. “You don’t half have good eyesight!”
Given that there are around 2.5m Islamics in Britain and only around 300,000 Jews, when can we expect to be swamped with hysterically funny Islamic jokes and sitcoms?
AID – Your post came up while I was posting, when I said this topic had been short on humour. Those jokes were pretty good, but they smack of the Western mind. A Muslim didn’t think them up.
There is probably a reason Jewish and Christian jokes are so familiar to us – we live in a society that was built on Judeo-Christian values. Islamic humour is culturally specific and we don’t share the culture. It’s the same reason we don’t know many Chinese or Japanese jokes.
Presumably the Imam will not be getting the traditional round of drinks for the whole clubhouse either Julien.
Actually I do know one good Chinese joke.
A few years ago when Maxim’s of Paris opened in Beijing a couple of Chinese guys decided to go.
They looked at the menu in French, they couldn’t read it and the prices were insane, so they pointed to the cheapest thing on the menu and said “We’ll have that.”
After about an hour, nothing arrived at their table and they asked the waiter, What about the thing they’d ordered?
The waiter replied “You got it, That was the music.”
Humor is always at least mildly subversive, which is why it fits libertarians so well. Islam, at least a big part of todays’ version, cannot stand the slightest challenge thus we get the Fatwa against Rushdie and the attacks on the Danish newspaper.
Well, it isn’t a joke per se, but there might be some material for a writer in the concept of a husband-and-wife splodey-dope team, as sighted a couple of days ago in Jordan. (Okay, okay, she survived. Maybe she’s not such a dope after all.)
Like, Ahmed tugs on the lanyard and does the pink-mist bit. Next thing, he’s through the Gates of Paradise and lining up virgin #1 of 72, when what does he hear but the al-Missus: “Oh, Ahmed, darling, there you are!”
Thon Brocket – She couldn’t get her detonator to work. That’s her story and she’s sticking to it.
My favourite though has to be this one – and its from a Muslim,
A man is walking in Central Park in New York when he sees a girl being savaged by a pit bull terrier . He runs over manages to kill the dog and saves the girl’s life. A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: “You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: “Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl” The man says: – “But I am not a New Yorker!” “Oh, then it will say in newspapers: ‘Brave American saves life of little girl'” – the policeman answers. “But I am not an American!” – says the man. “Oh, what are you then? ” The man says: – “I am an Iranian!”. Next day the newspapers say:
“Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog”.
There was an archaelogist in Mecca who was also a ventriloquist. He was sitting in front of a mosque one day and noticed a prominent Wahabi Imam walking past him followed by a horse, a camel and a young boy.
The ventriloquist decides to have some fun at the Imam’s expense and asks him politely if he may speak to his horse. To which the Imam replies, “the horse cannot speak, unless Allah willls it.”
The Ventriloquist pops off a few questions to the horse and it seems to answer. The Imam is thunderstruck, and mutters, “Alihu Akbar!”
The ventriloquist does the same with the camel; ditto the Imam.
The ventriloquist asks if he may speak to the young boy and the Imam screams, “Boy Lie!”
Hi,
There are lots of jokes. However, either they’re mainly kept ‘inhouse’ and many are sarcastic, especially regarding ‘imams’. Where Muslims draw the line is jokes about The Prophet and Sahabi, because they are the real Pillars of Islam, and by making jokes about them, they’re contributions are being trivialised (the fact that The Church has mounted a 1200 year war of attrition against Islam is a seperate issue). We would feel equally insulted if jokes about Prophets David and Solomon, Abraham and Jesus were being circulated, and can’t understand why the same courtesy isn’t given to Muhammad
If I recall correctly, the Prophet had a woman put to death who had made up a funny song about him.
But since Verity wanted more jokes:
Q: Why do they call camels the ships of the desert?
A: Because they are full of Arab seamen. [modest spelling to avoid filters]
Ahmad forgets that pious Christians make religious jokes. Perhaps all the jokes about Jesus are made up by Jews, but Christians enjoy them. And Jews have plenty of jokes about God.
As children we went to Sunday School, church services, youth group, Bible study, vacation Bible school, for years. And told jokes like:
Q: Who was the most constipated man in the Bible?
A1: Moses, who had to take two tablets, twice.
A2: Solomon, who was on the throne for forty years.
Popular Bible study books had jokes in them. My favorite was
Q: Who was the shortest man in the Bible?
A: Bildad the Shuhite.
Ahmed
That reminds me of the time I was discussing the Rushie Fatwa with a Pakistani friend and he said that Christians would never allow an insulting book to be published about Jesus.
I went downstairs and got a copy on Michael Moorcock’s “Behold The Man” in which Jesus turns out to be a psychcologically disturbed time traveller from 1960s England
Not all jokes about Jesus are made up by Jews, what of that competition that was launched by Rowan Atkinson and others recently to protest the religious incitement bill, because it could also be used against humor?
But there is a sense of iconoclasm through irony that Afshin is getting at, that may be more comparable to Jewish than Christian culture. To protest the idolatry of the Catholics, Protestants mobbed and smashed their statues. Jewish iconoclasm has never ever ever been violent or consisted of aggressive pamphleteering. It is through humor that the whole may be grasped and ridiculed, or made small. Painful to any extremist.
Nothing is funnier than the truth. And irony has always played an important part in making ‘big’ things smaller, in making contradictions easy to grasp. Those who have no humour about themselves, or what they represent always think in absolutes, which in turn is a symptom of the immaturity of their movement (I think of the extreme left, which may have an affinity with radical Islam on this and other points).
Yes, the ability to take a joke is a sign of maturity. Afshin wishes everyone to be mature.
How interesting that this topic has ended up clustering around Jewish humour and Christian humour, although the headline is “Make Jokes about Islam”.
What conclusions do we derive from this?
First Jewish Joke I ever heard and one of the best…heard it in Miami from a Jewish classmate.
Ultimate Jewish mother’s dilemma:
Pork at half price.
&
What is a Jewish hat-trick?
A son who is a Rabbi, a Doctor & a Lawyer!
A Jewish mother and her son are at the beach, but the boy strays out too far and sinks beneath the waves.
“Lord,” she cries, “all my life I’ve been to the synagogue, why do you do this to me?”
No answer.
“Lord, please give my son back – why me, when I’ve obeyed all your commandments?”
Silence, then a blinding light and a voice from the heavens saying, “Very well, you have been faithful to me, so here is your son,” and there he was, standing and shivering in front of her.
And the mother immediately looks up and raises her arms to the heavens. “Lord,” she says, “he had a hat.”
Also, a longer joke here Moishe and the Pope.
And a new joke I found just now googling for “Islamic jokes” from this briefpage by an Anglican about the dearth of Islamic humour:
Jesus goes into a pub in the East End and cures a blind man and then a deaf woman. Lame bloke in the corner says, ‘Don’t come near me gov — I’m on invalidity benefit.’
I go here to The Religious Policeman for my daily dose of irreverent Muslim humour. He’s an inspiring fellow and he’s very funny, but no standalone jokes that I can recall.
Oh, Ian,
“Lord,” she says, “he had a hat.”
Oh, god, that was funny! This is why people love Jewish humour. I’m still laughing.
An Arab diplomat visiting the US for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was unused to the salt in American foods (French fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies etc.) and was constantly sending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water.
Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of water.
But, then came the time when he returned empty-handed.
“Abdul, you son of an ugly camel, where is my water?” demanded the Grand Emir.
“A thousand pardons, O illustrious One,” stammered the wretched Abdul, “An infidel is sitting on the well.”
Man and his son walking past the World Trade Centre site in 2015. His son asks ‘ Dad, why is this place empty in the middle of all these buildings?’. His dad replies ‘ Well, son, 14 years ago, Muslims crashed into the Twin Towers, destroying them, and the ground has been left vacant as a sign of respect for those who died.’
Son – ‘Dad. What’s a Muslim?’
boom boom
Hasn’t anyone seen the cartoon with:
“Does my bomb look big in this rucksack?”
Or the other version:
Does my bum look big in this bomb?
Ian – that Moishe and the Pope joke is hysterical. I’ve sent it all over the world.
Latest Gossip:
The Social Affairs Unit posted my translations of Afshin’s articles on saturday, and they (including this blog) have been picked up by Irshad Manji, the canadian-Muslim woman, who has written several books advocating liberalism in Islam. Sheis making a film on humour in/about Islam, and a little camera crew is coming tomorrow to interview Afshin about the importance of jokes.
The article was posted on the SAU website saturday, and already tuesday a camera crew is coming to include Afshin in this movie! I’m very thrilled. Thanks everyone, it wouldn’t have picked up without this discussion!
Benjamin Bilski – That’s great! And great that Irshad has picked up on it! She is much admired and people listen to her.
Verity – glad you enjoyed the jokes.
I first found the Moishe joke ages ago on a Catholic joke site, but the general Catholic jokes weren’t that great, unless you get a frisson out of the Jesuits. Catholic jokes are often a little nerdy. I guess that Jewish jokes are far more worldly and well-observed, often deprecating cultural neuroses, whereas Catholic jokes are more about religion than worldview – confession, the clergy.
Back on topic, I found this about comedian Shabana Rehman, linked to from Fjordman. She apparently does a strip-tease starting with a burqa, and she’s been the target of touchy Islamic sensitivities.
I went to the link. Hmmmm … You can tell she came to Europe when she was only one. The humour is a bit … Norwegian. I wonder if she has ever performed in a restaurant/bar that her sister didn’t own.
Interesting. The version of Moshie and the Pope that I read was two Zen buddist monks. A visiting monk was often asked to debate before being granted a night’s lodging and the monk at the monestary was a one-eyed novice, who not good at speaking asked that the debate be done in silence.
The finger/hand signs were the Buddah, Darma, and Sangha, and the monk thought his one eye was being made fun of, so he shook his fist and the visiting monk realized all was meaningless … and took it that he had lost the debate.
As for jokes in Islam, I read that Persians have a saying, which goes something like, “Allah is fair game, but watch what you say about Mohammed”.
Rather fitting as Mohammed ordered murdered several people who made fun of him and his claims of divine revelation, including a slave who had been ordered to sing a satyrical song written by her master.
Ian: there is a dead woman walking.
Ahmed: you claim “The Church has mounted a 1200 year war of attrition against Islam”
Sorry chum, maybe in your universe, but here the reality is that Islam has been waging a 1400 year war of attrition against Christianity. Tell me, how do you explain the Islamic control of the former heartlands and great centres of Christianity? I refer to Syria, Asia Minor, Egypt, Damascus, Alexandria, Constantinople.
What do you call a drunk Muslim? Hamed.
What do you call a very drunk Muslim? Mohammed
What do you call a Muslim supermodel? Asif
What do you call a Muslim country and western singer? Salim Dusty (reference to Australian country and western singer Slim Dusty.
There are always a few Salman Rushdie jokes.
Did you hear about Rushdie’s latest book? It’s called ‘Buddha you fat b*stard’.
What has long blonde hair, huge t*ts, and is currently having a really great time in Las Vegas? Salman Rushdie.
And this one:
A man called Bob walks into a bar. He looks to the corner, and there in a booth having a couple of beers is George W and Rumsfeld. Bob is an old school friend of GWB, and wants to go up to them and say hello.
Bob gets through security etc, and sees GWB who remembers him immediately.
‘Hey Bob’, says GWB, ‘come and join us’. He then introduces Bob to Rumsfeld.
Bob: ‘So what are you guys talking about’.
Rumsfeld: ‘Well, since you ask, we are planning to nuke the Middle East. We are going to kill 4 million M*slims and a blonde with long legs and really huge t*ts’.
Bob: ‘So why are you going to kill the blonde?’
At that point, Rumsfeld leans across to GWB and says…
‘I told you nobody would care about the 4 million M***s!’
Interesting discussion you guys have got going, but there are some serious mis-statements about Islam here. (disrespect and blasphemy aside)
Muslims are allowed to have up to four wives, not two.
The whole ‘slew of virgins in paradise’ thing is an old and incorrect gig. Everyone who gets to heavan is made virgin again (much in the way they’re made young and new, it’s all part of the package deal) and the blessed are those there with their spouses. If your spouse didn’t make it to heavan, you get a Hoor as a consolation prize, but the Qur’an states that the ‘real’ women are better.
Christians may make fun of Jesus, but Muslims don’t make fun of either Muhammad (peace be upon him) or God. We also (generally, ideally) don’t poke fun at religious tenets, because that borders on heresy, no? Do Chrisitians and Jews do though? Yes, but it’s all in rather bad taste to make fun of your own religion, isn’t it.
And like someone else up there said, what do sufis know about Igloos? Apart from copy-pasting Muslim names over dirty jokes, how do you plan to come up with things you know little to nothing about? And even if you could, to what purpose? Why? What could possibly be achieved from disrespecting a quarter of the world’s population, especially since, Oh Sufis who Know Nothing of Igloos, you need the help of the majority to catch the few black sheep who go about detonating things.
This whole joke thing is a bad approach.
-Abez
(A Muslim)
Actually, regarding the Denmark story a couple of threads ago, I have a Turkish colleague who talks a lot about how Turkey is a more secular country than the US, so I put the question to him of what the ambassador of a “secular” country would be doing asking the Danish PM to essentially override Danish law in the name of his favorite religion. My colleague, who himself claims not to be particularly religious, said he would have to “think about” whether this is a contradiction or not. (!!!) I wasnt unfriendly when I asked, and we’re on good terms. We had a discussion about it, and he basically said that to a Muslim free speech could not extend to drawing derrogatory pictures of the prophet. He claims (I’m skeptical) that criticizing the prophet is OK, but you can’t make insulting images of him (or any images at all, really).
The point I’m getting at is that this idea is apparently deeply ingrained in the muslim consciousness (whatever that means).
The comment I’ve quoted above – as well as this one
illustrate, I think, the problem at hand quite nicely. If even “not particularly religious” TURKS cannot see why drawing insulting pictures of the prophet would be protected free speech in Denmark, and if our friend abez here thinks that any jokes about one’s religion are heresy, then there’s clearly a massive cultural barrier. Of course, I’m sure not all muslims hold this view. But if abez’ comment tells us anything it’s that we definitely need to come up with more jokes and make them more often in public. Muslims can choose to be as offended by this as they want – the point being that our culture and political reality are not up for negotiation – certainly not on the basis of their feelings about a prophet we don’t believe in.
Yes, I thought abez had a bit of a cheek telling us what we can laugh at, and how much free speech we can actually indulge in in our own countries, according to the strictures of his own religion, which means nothing to us.
He should remember that because we have free speech, he is free to practise his religion.
And you people certainly are touchy. Those cartoons weren’t even very radical. But top marks to Flemming Rose, a hero, for publishing them.
What Joshua said.
abez: the issue here is not “is it a good idea to mock other people’s their religion?”
The issue is “do people have a right not to be upset?”… and in the west the answer is NO, you have no right at all not to be upset. Upsetting you may be unreasonable, unkind and foolish but it is, and must be, permitted, just as you can upset me if you like.
You DO have a right not to be physically attacked, or threatened or have your things stolen. You also have the right have your right to call people who upset you fools, heretics, idiots or infidel vermin.
But if I want to say things you regard as heresy, that is MY right and if you don’t like that, that’s really too bad. I do NOT have the right to threaten you or conspire to harm you because of that you say or think, but you must to do the same for me. The whole point I think that Afshin Ellian was making is that only by confronting some Muslims with things they do not want other people to say will the issue of freedom of expression be made crystal clear.
abez – I will add that of all religions, Islam seems to be the most fragile. It cannot take the interchange of ideas or discussions. It is the only religion that wants to shut down all debate and forbids co-religionists from questioning it.
You and your co-religionists are going to have to get accustomed to Westerners making jokes, because that is the way it is here.
Interesting discussion you guys have got going, but there are some serious mis-statements about Islam here. (disrespect and blasphemy aside)
Disrespect – well that’s very subjective. What has Islam done to earn the respect of non-Muslims? I would contend that Islam, as a whole, has done quite the opposite.
Blasphemy – very subjective, and leading from my point above, not really something most non-Muslims will worry about too much.
Muslims are allowed to have up to four wives, not two.
Thanks for that.
The whole ‘slew of virgins in paradise’ thing is an old and incorrect gig. Everyone who gets to heavan is made virgin again (much in the way they’re made young and new, it’s all part of the package deal) and the blessed are those there with their spouses. If your spouse didn’t make it to heavan, you get a Hoor as a consolation prize, but the Qur’an states that the ‘real’ women are better.
Sorry, what about women who get to Heaven, whose spouses have not? Do they get a ‘Hoor’, or maybe a ‘real man’?
Christians may make fun of Jesus, but Muslims don’t make fun of either Muhammad (peace be upon him) or God. We also (generally, ideally) don’t poke fun at religious tenets, because that borders on heresy, no? Do Chrisitians and Jews do though? Yes, but it’s all in rather bad taste to make fun of your own religion, isn’t it.
Right, so Christians and Jews make fun of both their own religions, and other religions. Muslims just blow other people up. Great.
And like someone else up there said, what do sufis know about Igloos? Apart from copy-pasting Muslim names over dirty jokes, how do you plan to come up with things you know little to nothing about? And even if you could, to what purpose? Why?
Read the comments above please.
What could possibly be achieved from disrespecting a quarter of the world’s population, especially since, Oh Sufis who Know Nothing of Igloos, you need the help of the majority to catch the few black sheep who go about detonating things.
A quarter of the world are Muslims? I don’t think so. And I don’t see the majority actually up in arms over the actions of the black sheep at the moment.
This whole joke thing is a bad approach.
I think you have just shown why it’s a good approach. It shows us just what the rank and file think, never mind ‘the black sheep’.
Just as one thinks that Muslims have no sense of humour this comes from a story behind the arrest of the terrorists in Australia last week,
Abez,
I found it quite sad reading your posting. Jokes about religion are common in Western society.
Whilst Britain is a predominantely Christian country, we have a number of minorities. There are jokes that are funny and jokes that are offensive. The jokes in this coments section are mainly of the funny variety.
Jackie Mason can stand up in London and crack jokes about Jews and both Jews and non Jews can be in hysterics. Not a religious matter but on race, someone like Lenny Henry can stand up and make jokes about black peoplem that both black people and white people can laugh at.
Jokes that are offensive are not found so funny and are pretty much out of fashion. An example of unfashionable jokes these days are those about the Irish being stupid. It is realised that the Irish population is pretty much fed up with that sterotype, but the same jokes now exist about blonde haired girls.
Jokes are often about current affairs and you have to accept that since the horific events of 11/9/01, Islam has been in the news a lot.
In western society we pretty much have developed a concesus over jokes about what is funny and what is offensive.The problem about jokes about Muslims is exactly your posting. You take offence at something that most people in the West would find funny.
Only sick people or racist people would find a Joke about the Holocaust to be funnny, but if we take the following Jewish joke:-
Q How many Jewish mothers does it take to change ?
A. None, Ill just sit here in the dark
It is funny. It portrays the guilt that a Jewish mother passes on to her children to offer her assistance without her asking for it specifically.
Jews in the main are not offended by it. Furthermore if is it not you per se that is being attacked by a joke why complain.
Maybe if the Muslim poulation of Britain could begin to laugh at the extremeness of some who claim to act in the name of their religion then the extreme people may realise that they are being laughed at for their actions and have second thoughts as no one likes to be made fun of…
The point I’m getting at is that this idea is apparently deeply ingrained in the muslim consciousness (whatever that means).
The idea is that you should respect all religions and not make fun of any of them. That this idea should be deeply ingrained is a good thing, because it means that your average Muslim shouldn’t wander around poking malicious fun at Christian clergy.
The Jewish jokes you guys posted weren’t about Judaism as a faith, they were about “Jewish Culture,” and a person making a clean joke at his own culture’s expense has never really been a problem.
abez: the issue here is not “is it a good idea to mock other people’s their religion?”
Actually, that is the issue, because that is, in effect, what is happening. Whatever the end may be [to offend Muslims, thus magically aiding the war on terror(?)] the means is disrespect. Is it useful? Not likely.
The issue is “do people have a right not to be upset?”… and in the west the answer is NO, you no right at all not to be upset. Upsetting you may be unreasonable, unkind and foolish but it is, and must be, permitted, just as you can upset me if you like.
It’s always funny how people like to point out how ‘things are done here in the West.’ I’m a white Muslim, I was born and raised in the US, and my cute lil Christian Gramma from Southern Indiana taught me that in order to earn respect you must give respect. Was that distinctly un-Western of her?
abez – I will add that of all religions, Islam seems to be the most fragile. It cannot take the interchange of ideas or discussions. It is the only religion that wants to shut down all debate and forbids co-religionists from questioning it.
Islam as a religion does not have a personality, Islam is composed of the Qur’an and the Hadith, and Muslims are the peanut gallery that follow the religion around to the best of their flawed ability. Muslims don’t represent Islam, only an attempt at it. Islam is unchanged, exists on paper, is generally inanimated, and has little to say about what’s going on. You will, however, find closed-minded Muslims the same way you’ll find closed-minded people of all faiths. (How long did the Catholic church simply move priests who molested little boys? How long did the problem go unaddressed) but the difference is that you see a closed Muslim mind as the norm and the closed ‘Western’ mind as the exception. Where I come from (the West) that’s what we call bias. 😉
Sorry, what about women who get to Heaven, whose spouses have not? Do they get a ‘Hoor’, or maybe a ‘real man’?
God will pair people up as He sees fit, if we run out of men (here’s hoping most of us don’t end up in hell) then God will provide. No one gets left alone, and when God sez that no one will be left wanting for anything, that’s kind of an all-inclusive deal. No worries mate.
A quarter of the world are Muslims? I don’t think so. And I don’t see the majority actually up in arms over the actions of the black sheep at the moment.
http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0904108.html
Conservative estimates say Muslims are 21%. The numbers don’t matter though. Do you have any contact with the Muslim world at all? Do you read our papers? Do you speak our local languages to know what’s being said? Do you attend our religious conferences so you know what our leaders are saying? No, your only source of information about the Muslim world is the Western Media, and that is why you don’t see the Muslims being/doing anything except being negatively portrayed, stereotyped, or ignored.
try looking here instead: Muslims worldwide condemn terrorism
Whilst Britain is a predominantely Christian country, we have a number of minorities. There are jokes that are funny and jokes that are offensive. The jokes in this coments section are mainly of the funny variety
No one said they weren’t funny, the question is: are they right? Or are they just low-blows and malicious sniggers at the expense of another person’s dignity?
Only sick people or racist people would find a Joke about the Holocaust to be funnny:
I agree, yet alot of sick people make jokes about US forces dropping bombs on Afghani civillians or about torture in Abu Ghraib because apparently it serves a purpose of some sort? And the ongoing conflict in the Middle East a one long joke, right?
Perhaps we’re making different points here. Perhaps I’m saying that no one’s religion should be mocked and perhaps you’re all saying it’s ok to mock Islam? Or perhaps it’s ok to mock all religions? I believe that freedom of speech in the US extends only as far as no one getting hurt. You can say that the president is a moron, but if you stood up in a crowded theater and yelled ‘FiRE!’ and people rushed to get out and were killed in the stampede, then you would be accountable for their deaths. Religious hatred and violence has to begin somewhere. Disrespect is the first step. Making malicious jokes about religion is teaching people to think less of another religion and less of its followers. That is step one of dehumanization. You cannot justify ‘Muslim’ Jokes any more than you can (in the words of Monty Python) “Poke fun at a nigger, or a wop, or a kraut.”
-Abez
The idea is that you should respect all religions and not make fun of any of them.
Abez, if we shouldn’t make jokes about religion, what should we make jokes about? What is so special about religion that it should be immune? After all, we also make jokes about politics, sexuality, football teams, certain jobs, outlooks on life, philosophies, all things which can be very dear to people. I don’t see why religion should hold a trump card.
I’d have more truck with this don’t-mock-Islam attitude if Islam had respect for other religions and people who don’t fit into its moral mould. “Let there be no compulsion in religion” says the Koran. But it also says “Kill the idolaters wherever you find them.” Whatever textual defence can be made of this, it’s how sharia tends to treat apostates. Is this respect? Why should the Koran be allowed to say that when the rest of us shouldn’t be allowed, you think, to make fun of the Islamic belief system?
Maybe, Abez, you find it offensive when someone cracks a joke about Islam. But can’t you see that many people in the world find Islam’s attitudes to women, to gay people and to many others offensive, too? By your logic, we’d have to ban any offence Islam makes to the kuffars.
In fact, Islam goes far beyond saying offensive things about women, about gay people, about apostates… Indeed mocking Islam prevents us from being wound up and indignant at its offensive demands.
Humour is a very human way of coping with life’s absurdities and crises. It stops us crying, it lifts us out of despair, and it makes the world go round. I don’t want to see it stop.
My comment seems to have disappeared. In brief, Abez,
why should religion be exempt from jokes when philosophies, outlooks on life, jobs, football teams and so on aren’t, all of which can equally be very dear to people?
if Islam wants respect, shouldn’t it cleanse the Koran, stop sharia from executing gay people, apostates, women and others, and stop preaching that some people and some perfectly legal behaviours are evil – all of which many people find very offensive indeed?
Making malicious jokes about religion is teaching people to think less of another religion and less of its followers
No. Just the religion. Making jokes about Muslims might lead to people thinking less of Muslims.
And why not? Either your religion is right or it’s a complete load of made-up nonsense. Islam and Christianity and Mormonism and Hinduism can’t all be right. At least three of them are telling porkies.
And why shouldn’t we think less of some religions than others? Hinduism strikes me as fairly reasonable, as religions go, but Mormonism strikes me as completely ludicrous. Never mind bacon butties, it bans tea and coffee!
If I were to go around speaking about the evils of hot drinks, saying that contraception was immoral, and saying anyone who didn’t worship Zeus would go to hell, wouldn’t I be fair game for the odd joke?
Ian: My mother is a Mormon, and their beliefs have nothing to do with Zeus.
And actually, the idea is to respect the sacred, of which football teams, politicians, jobs, etc. don’t fit in. It doesn’t matter whether it’s sacred to you or whether you think the religion is valid, because until Judgment Day or Apocolypse or whatever one’s respect religion preaches, it’s all just your word against theirs for who’s telling porkies isn’t it?
I guess mutual respect is a lost cause on y’all.
Here’s to the west and everything it stands for. heh.
Cheers.
Abez, I’m interested to know why you think the sacred should be respected when one’s political beliefs shouldn’t. What’s so special about it? And would you extend this special privilege to not telling jokes about atheists or agnostics?
Also, what is the sacred? Gods themselves, or the historical relationships people have built up with them, i.e., religions. There’s a big difference. After all, Christians don’t mock Jesus, but a lot of them mock the Pope or televangelists, depending on their own tradition.
And of course I know that Mormons don’t worship Zeus. It was a bad paragraph transition.
And mutual respect isn’t a lost cause on me, despite your presumption that it is. I don’t go around being offensive to Islam, but I do know that Islam goes round saying offensive things about apostates and others. Surely what’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander? Or do you believe that religion should not be derided but should be free to deride things it doesn’t like?
And when Islam, or representatives of it, seek to lobby Parliament, do they cease to be religious and start becoming political? And is it then permissible to joke about those representatives as we’d do with other lobby groups or politicians? Which comes back to defining the sacred…
Ian, all of these questions have easy answers, and would you believe I’m in the process of writing a paper about this?
Religion is quite different from politics, politics changes on a daily basis and what’s party ‘doctrine’ one day is tossed away for a more popular stance the next. Would I make malicious fun of atheists or agnostics, nope. Atheism and Agnosticism, in spite of what the practitioners say, is a set of beliefs. If I want respect for mine then I respect other peoples’.
Islam’s position on apostacy is the same as nearly every single country on the face of the earth these days: the penatly for treason is death. You desert from the US army and join the other side, you are killed. (Remember Robert Rosenthal? He was hung for spying during WWI.)
Apostacy in Islam is not categorized as simply changing religions, it is defined as leaving Islam and actively working against it. Just kind of quietly wandering off and becoming a Buddhist is an issue between only you and God, but defecting and joining the enemy is treason in everybody’s books. Islam having a stance against treason is not an excuse to say that it’s disrespectful to apostates any more than jail is disrespectful to rapists.
Drawing the line on what’s sacred and what’s fair game for a bit of fun is complex, and like I said, I’m writing a paper on this. Islam clearly outlines the rules for what’s not good humor, and if you make sure you’re not violating any rules, then you’ve made a kosher joke. In brief, the rules are:
No ridiculing other people, deliberately embarassing or maliciously poking fun. This is not the same as good-naturedly teasing someone.
No ridiculing religion, yours or anyone else’s.
No lying, cheating, tricking people to get a laugh.
Basically the rules exclude dishonest, low-brow, dirty, and malicious humor at the expense of other peoples’ respect or religion. Does this make it hard to crack a joke? Not really. Here’s an old Arab joke, translated into English.
One night a thief was creeping into a man’s house to steal his donkey. He made his way to the stable and carefully untied the donkey. He had herded the animal all the way to the front gate again when the donkey let out a long bray. A light appeared in the house and the man panicked. He slapped the donkey, sending it on its way, and put the halter over his own neck. Within a few seconds the owner of the donkey had come out and grabbed him by the neck.
“Thief! What are you doing? Where is my donkey!”
“Master, forgive me,” the man begged, “But I am your donkey.”
“What nonsense is this?”
“Well, God forgive me, I used to drink a lot, and one day I came home drunk and I treated my mother harshly. She made dua then, and she said ‘Allah, it is better to have a donkey than a son like this!’ and the next day I remember standing outside and eating grass.”
The man looked uncertainly at the thief, but then finally released him. “Fine,” he said, “You may go, but seek Allah’s forgiveness and treat your mother well.”
“Yes sheikh, thank you sheikh!” the thief said, and ran away.
The next day the thief took the stolen donkey to the market place to sell. As he stood there haggling over the price, suddenly he heard a voice cry out: “You!” He turned nervously and saw the donkey’s real owner striding angrily in his direction. In the packed marketplace he had no way of escaping. He was about to covers his eyes, fearing the worst when he saw the owner reached out and then slap donkey.
“You!,” the owner said, leading the donkey away angrily, “Have been drinking again!”
This joke, as well as others, doesn’t violate any of the rules. It not dishonest, dirty, blasphemous, or disrespectful. Is it good ole dirty fun? Nope. Is it as funny as some really raunchy jokes, or some really sharp humor thrown at your political enemies? Nah. But the greater goal is to be respectful, and laughing your ass off takes a back seat to common courtesy.
Abez,
Thank you for your comments.
On apostasy, is this what you’re talking about?
Rape and apostasy are not equivalent. Rape is a vile crime. Apostasy, from what I can make out, is merely challenging the truth of Islam and pointing out its inconsistencies and so on. In this case it is no different from a turncoat Labour politician arguing that the Conservatives have got it wrong, or a former atheist standing on a soapbox and shouting bible verses.
If an apostate physically attacks Muslims or burns down mosques, he should receive a commensurate punishment. If he merely verbally decries Islam, he should be ignored or argued against. After all, if Islam is the truth, it will be able to stand its own in an argument.
People in the UK are free to choose and to reject religion. If a British Muslim killed an apostate in Britain, that would be murder and the killer should be tried and sentenced. Do you agree?
If you reserve the right to Islam to kill apostates, would you not grant that right to Christianity too?
Party politics may change from day to day, but if one is a socialist or a capitalist, one’s deep-seated political beliefs don’t. Are you saying that only things that don’t change have the right not to be made fun of?
– – –
In fact, this is obviously not about religion to you. I don’t think you see Islam as a religion in the way most people in the UK think of Judaism and Christianity and all the rest as religions. You see Islam as a total order of law and morals just like Abu Ala Maududi does, who justifies killing people who publicly deny Mohammed’s entirely virtuous life and Allah’s eternal existence. “If Islam is truly a ‘religion’ in the sense that religion is understood at present,” he says, “surely it would be absurd to prescribe the penalty of execution for those people who wish to leave it because of their dissatisfaction with its principles.”
Ian it’s rather disconcerting actually meeting these Shar’ia lovers on these blogs.
Recently I had a run in with an American Muslim who advocating stoning to death for adultery on Pickled Politics. I put it on my lil blog
Ian it’s rather disconcerting actually meeting these Shar’ia lovers on these blogs.
Recently I had a run in with an American Muslim who advocating stoning to death for adultery on Pickled Politics. I put it on my lil blog
u guyz r just PATHETIC its quite entertaining really… and why the hell do u wanna know islamic jokes anyways?! u sound like obsessed freaks.. personally i know many funny islamic jokes but of course idiots like u guyz wouldnt even be able to understand a single word of it.. and dont u think that judging ppl by what media says is wrong? has it EVER occured to u that the media can lie?! :O big shocker there! DO NOT talk about other religions unless uve studyed them and understood them! ppl these days have absolutly NO brains NONE!
Well muslimah, as I think all religion is just superstitious nonsense, why would I need to study one in particular before I want to make jokes about it? However as it happens I understand Islam just fine… and all the process of reaching that understanding did was to confirm what I already thought: all religion is superstitious nonsense.
Now I fully support your right to believe superstitious nonsense if you want to, however my right to make fun of you to doing so is non-negotiable. I suspect the fact this seems to upset so many muslims is a sign of how fragile their belief system really is. The fact godless infidels like so many in the West laugh at you should not really bother you because frankly not many people in the West care if muslims make jokes about non-muslims. If you expect us to tolerate your wierd beliefs you have to tolerate the belief of people like me that it is entirely reasonable to make fun of other people’s beliefs.
Not a muslim joke but a Israel Palestine joke and I made it up. Why do jews refuse to eat a pigs backside ? because they are afraid of Hamas, get it? (Ham-arse for the morons out there).
perry de havilland… u said u understand islam im willing 2 bet u 100 million dollars that u dont,u wanna know y? bcuz EVERY SINGLE person who has studied islam and understood has converted… so unless u have im 101% sure u have understood nothing… maybe what uve heard in the media and all that crap but thats about it…. and u know y ppl should study islam? bcuz it is the FASTEST growing religion in the entire world (not to mention the only REAL and true religion…)… now ur probably thinking this a bunch of BS but i dont care… ive done my job to try a help people get into heaven its their chioce whether or not to follow through 😀 eventually all u kufar out there will know the truth
Understanding does not equal acceptance (often the contrary is true, as in this case).
Correct, it is indeed a bunch of BS and if you don’t care, why are you leaving comments on this blog? In truth all you are doing is confirming the views of the majority of people who are going to read this that Islam has a high proportion of supporters who are irrational.
Do you really expect people do believe the statement “EVERY SINGLE person who has studied islam and understood has converted”? You need no help from me to make your position look foolish.
Islam may possibly be the fastest growing religion but what is growing even faster is the number of people to whom religion means nothing whatsoever. Make the most of today because the future does not belong to you: the future is secular and religion will be little more than a colourful garnish. Take a good look at the modern Anglican Church because 50-100 years from now, that is what Islam is going to look like for 99% of people who can be bothered with religion at all: a quaint and mildly daft institution that people look to when it needs someone to marry them and buries them and very little more than that.
many have understood and run away in horror !
see
http://www.faithfreedom.org
Ali Sina come from an Ayatollah familiy and know the
Koran inside out. He now claims that Mohammed is a
……. (you have heard the allegations).
he offers $50,000 to whoever can prove him wrong.
see also
http://www.apostatesofislam.com/apostates.htm
Taslima Nasreen when she first read the koran in bengali was disgusted she said it was all about raping captives !
Parvin Darabi absolutely detests Khomeini.
so what do you THINK muslimah ?
according to Ali Sina muslims can´t think for themselves as they are petrified by the fear of the hell-fire to those who question.
Just a little info about this Afshin Ellian everything seems to have started with.
A friend of mine who talked to him once told him that he (a Muslim) has Jewish ancestors, and Ellian replied: “I knew there’s something wrong with you”. Talking about blacks from the Dutch Caribbean he said “What kind of Voodoo religion do they believe in?”. The guy is just a plain old racist and a Jim Crow.
His good friend Theo van Gogh who was murdered last year has in the past been sued by a Jewish organization for saying “It smells so sweet here, I guess they’re burning the Jews with diabetes.”
Quite a hero of free speech isn’t he. But I guess in Britain where getting drunk, then shagging randomly before beating innocent people up, this is nothing out of the ordinary.
ufffffffffffffffffff useless wasting my time… even u know ur wrong and just cuz some weirdo said some crap it dont make it true…. anyways the only reason i care is cuz i dont like seeing ppl being mislead…
Two men were on a plane on a business trip when a Muslim couple boarded the plane and were seated right in front of them. The two men, eager to have some fun, started talking loudly.
“My boss is sending me to Saudi Arabia”, the one said, “But I don’t want to go…too many Muslims there!” The Muslim couple noticeably heard and grew uncomfortable.
The other guy laughed, “Oh, yeah, my boss wanted to send me to Pakistan but I refused…WAY too many Muslims!”
Smiling, the first man said, “One time I was in Iran but I HATED the fact that there were so many Muslims!” The couple fidgeted.
The other guy responded, “Oh, yeah…you can’t go ANYWHERE to get away from them…the last time I was in FRANCE I ran into a bunch of them too!”
The first guy was laughing hysterically as he added, “That is why you’ll never see me in Indonesia…WAY too many Muslims!”
At this, the Muslim man turned around and responded politely, “Why d0n’t y0u g0 t0 Hell?”, he asked, “I hear there’s not very many Muslims THERE!”
That is a pretty good joke actually!
When I Say…I am a Muslim
When I say. . .I am a Muslim,
I’m not shouting ” down with Christians and Jews.”
I am whispering “I seek peace,”
and Islam is the path that I choose.
When I say. . . I am a Muslim,
I speak of this with pride.
And confess that sometimes I stumble,
and need Allah to be my guide.
When I say. . .I am a Muslim,
I know this makes me strong.
And in those times when I am weak,
I pray to Allah for strength to carry on.
When I say. . . I am a Muslim,
I’m not boasting of success.
I’m acknowledging that Allah has rescued me,
and I cannot ever repay the debt.
When I say. . .I am a Muslim,
I’m not claiming to be perfect.
My flaws are indeed visible,
but Allah forgives because his followers are worth it.
When I say. . .I am a Muslim,
it does not mean I will never feel pain.
I still have my share of heartaches,
which is why I invoke Allah’s name.
When I say. . .I am a Muslim,
I do not wish to judge.
I have no such authority
My duty is to submit to Allah’s all-encompassing love.
This is the saddest dialogue I have seen in awhile. As an American, I’ve always considered the British to be some of the most tolerant, open-minded and educated people on the planet. I would have never thought I would have seen such generalizations coming from this country. I am a Muslim. I was Lutheran, and I converted 8 years ago. I am a practicing, devout Muslim, and I am not crazy or violent, nor are any of the Muslims who I have met in America. I do not blow things up, nor do I wish to. I have a college education, a good job and many non-Muslim friends. You mistake the actions of a few disgruntled, uneducated, poor immigrants as the universal beliefs of all Muslims. Islam is a religion of peace. I wouldn’t have crossed over otherwise. The problem is that many Muslims come from poor, poorly educated and oppressed countries. Many of them can’t read their own language, let alone the Quran. They hate just to hate. They would probably wish to harm me, just because I’m American and despite the fact that I’m Muslim.
My point is that you should educate yourself and meet a Muslim person before you generalize and stereotype. Believe me, I break all of the stereotypes. I like NASCAR racing and country music. Imagine pulling up next to me wearing a head scarf and listening to Lynard Skynard’s ‘Sweet Home Alabama.’ What you see isn’t always what you get.
Heather
P.S. Is your Web site linked to the KKK’s? It seems to be the same hateful rhetoric, on a more sophisticated level. I bet hateful words sound better in a British accent than in a Mississipi one.
Just a note about the Iranian comedian Omid Djalili. He is not a Muslim.
whats the matter wiith u do we muslims make fun of cristianity, bhudisim and other religions no we dont so why do u make fun of us…….
Because, Mr. M, freedom of expression means the right to make fun of whoever you want to. I make fun of all religions because I think they are all superstitious nonsense… and if you want to make fun of non-believers like me, fine, go right ahead, I don’t mind.
An arab was travelling with his she camel(this is in real joke, but i can safely assume she/he camel wouldnt have made any difference) in a desert.Suddenly the arab feels very horny.He tries to penetrate the camel, but the camel was too high for him.He did his best to do the she camel, but alas to no vain.Then he humbly prays to allah to help him.he begs allah to help him satisfy him urge.allah accepts his prayers and sends a beautiful,sexy hoor to him.the arab is very happy to see her, he thanks allah for accepting his prayers.then he tells the hoor to bend (like if he’s going to do a dogie style).the hoor obeys him and bends on her knees.the arab stands on her back and finally penetrates the she camel.
Did you hear about the Israeli car? Not only can it stop on a dime but it goes back and picks it up.
Not muslim, but jews are worse.
Hi all. :]
It looks like there’s been a lot of misconceptions about Muslims and Islam going around.
First of all, I’m Ayeshah, I’m 14, and I go to a public highschool. Nice to meet ya!
When I say Muslim, what’s the first thing you think of?
Terrorist.
Arab.
Bomb.
Al- Qaeda.
Osama Bin Ladin?
Well, that’s not Islam.
Now, I want you to think of everything you’ve heard about Muslims, and get rid of it. Pretend you’ve never come accross the term ‘Muslim’ or ‘Islam’, mmkay? Cast out all those stereotypical thoughts.
About the whole ‘terrorist’ issue, the people who go out and do that are Muslim by name, not by their actions. Killing innocent people is a crime, even to us ‘Moslems’. o_e We believe that hurting any other human being, outside of self defense, is not right.
A few months back, there was a man who shot and killed many soldiers at Fort Hood. I was with my mom in the car- who is an American Muslim convert by the way- when we heard it on the radio. All I could say was: Shit. Really? Did you really have to say Allahu Akbar as you killed them? Are you effin’ kidding me?!
Those two words changed the whole story. Allahu Akbar means God is the Greatest. Now, if a Christian man had done the same thing and shouted
he would be considered insane and the media would make no note of the religious cry. Once this Muslim had done this however, he was considered a ‘Islamicist’ and a ‘Moslem Extremist’. Isn’t it possible he might have been insane as well? There are good people and bad people in Islam. Just like in any other faith. Most serial killers aren’t Muslim, but does that mean I should put down Judaism, Christianity, Budaism, and any other monotheistic or polytheistic religion? Or even Scientology? Or belief in no God at all?
The answer is no. Of course not.
As Muslims, we believe that God put us in differentgroups and cultures so that we may get to know eachother. Not to fight and point out our differences.
Actually, we’re not all that different. Did you know, that only 20% of Muslims are Arab?
Whenever I meet someone, and I tell them I’m Muslim, they immediately say, “Oh, you don’t look Muslim…” Is Muslim supposed to have some sort of look or something? They’re basically saying I don’t look Arab. With dirty blond hair and freckles, I sure as hell don’t. Also, I haven’t taken to wearing the headscarf yet, or being humble with my dress code. This sometimes confuses people.
Muslims have integrated into society well. You might pass someone on the street and not for one second think they’re Muslim. Most women choose not to don the head covering until they are older. While other brave young girls put it on as soon as they are of age.
One thing that I take into high regard is acceptance. Proper Islam accepts Christians and Jews as people of the book, and says that you should be kind to everyone, no matter what faith they are. All my friends (Athiests, Christians, and Jews alike) accept me for what I am: a Muslim.
I might text, read Vampire love stories, watch Tv, and hang out with friends, but I also pray to God, attempt to read Quran (I’m currently learning Arabic, and it is HARD. D;), and fast during the month of Ramadan.
Try and befriend a Muslim, you’ll find they aren’t that different from you and me.
I know that was a little lengthy, but thanks to all of you that read it- and I still have plenty more where that came from.
In fact I had another four paragraphs prepared, but it was getting a little Essay-y.
If any of you have questions, or want to learn more, please email me at hermionegirl17@gmail.com
Yes, hermione girl 17 @ gmail . com <_< And don't make fun of the address, I made it when I was like, 7. >.< THANKS EVERYONE! Please take what I said into consideration. I know it must be hard to hear me out after evrything you've heard already, but please try. Also, email all of your comments to me, because I won't be looking back at this website. Oh, and don't forget my contribution to the Islamic jokes: "What do you call a black man flying a plane?" "A pilot, you racist!" "Well, what about a woman flying a plane?" "Still, she's a pilot, you sexist pig!" "How about a Muslim flying a plane?" "A terrorist."