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Samizdata, derived from Samizdat /n. - a system of clandestine publication of banned literature in the USSR [Russ.,= self-publishing house]

The absurdity of Edward Kennedy

Honourless buffoon Senator Ted Kennedy read into the Congressional Record, as a result of a sports event, the following example of breathtaking absurdity.

”At a time when our entire country is banding together and facing down individualism, the Patriots set a wonderful example, showing us all what is possible when we work together, believe in each other, and sacrifice for the greater good.”

And so we are lead to believe that a voluntary collaboration of free individuals, working for personal profit, a great deal of profit at that, is a rejection of individualism and an affirmation of collectivism. And what exactly are these sportsmen supposed to have ‘sacrificed’ in the course of their highly paid jobs?

[Update: Mickey Kaus has also picked up on this nincompoopery]

[Updated update: I am glad to see everyone and their brother in the blogosphere has picked up on this floridly ludicrous rant by the dishonourable ‘gentleman’ from Massachusetts]

New Prospect at Fleet Center

Editors note: you need to read this carefully in order to ‘get it’

From Reporter J Baxter, Boston (BS NewsNetwork)

The Boston Celtics announced today they have signed a new power forward after several trial workouts. Standing tall is 6′ ‘7″ power forward Sam Ladenson, who demonstrated explosive charges through the paint, and a distinct ability to draw crucial fouls. Contract details are expected to be ironed out by the end of the day.

Celtic General Manager Red Auerbach said Ladenson is a triple threat–a mixture of Bob Cousy’s ball handling skills, weaving through bigger men almost unseen, Havlicek with his stop short 20 foot jumper, and Bill Russell, who could take on the big men in the middle whenever necessary. Auerbach envisions Ladenson’s presence permitting the Celtic’s leading scorer, Paul Pierce, to take more uncontested shots inside the three point stripe.

Celtic officials indicate Ladenson may well get some playing minutes during Tuesday’s game in New York. Remarked one team official—“It is not often such talent just appears out of nowhere.” Ladenson has traveled with various European and Central Asian teams, but apparently decided to give the NBA a shot. Overseas he was known for his ability to disappear until a critical big shot was needed.

Ladenson’s agent – M. L. O’Marr – well-known for having a singular keen eye for unusual and special talent, said negotiations are underway with the Celtic brass for a partial year contract, and a contract extension option for the 2002-03 season and beyond. O’Marr said Ladenson was looking to put down permanent roots. The team’s press agent did indicate that Ladenson had one contract stipulation—that he would be joining the Palestinian Olympic team for the Summer games. O’ Marr expected such contract details to be minor concerns, and predicted his client would fare well in the negotiations.

The Celtics, currently a half-game behind the New Jersey Nets, are making their first serious run at the Eastern Division title since the departure of Rick Pitino to the college ranks. Celtic scouts have privately conceded that Ladenson may expect trouble in the middle from the game’s biggest man in Shaquille O’Neil, but O’Marr was quick to point out Ladenson’s quick moves when surrounded.

Ladenson was not available for comment.