I must say it is about time that we found out what the South Park kids made of the bailout. This is probably not entirely work-safe.
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There is no stated national consensus that as a country we should substantially reduce overall masturbation, but such a reduction would benefit the health of many who wank – and those affected by passive wanking- the concept I invented a few sentences ago and am now treating as a genuine problem. In 2006, 180,000 people died from pornographic-related causes. Wanking has a major impact on individual wanker’s health: it causes cancers of the liver, bowel, breast, throat, mouth, larynx and oesophagus; it causes blindness, hairy palms, a pale pallor and insanity … Some point to the potential benefits of self-pleasuring, but these tend to be greatly overstated. Despite its known harms, one-quarter of the adult population – about 10 million people – now wank above the recommended low-risk levels. I made this figure up but as the Chief Medical Officer I can cite myself because I am in a position of authority. Here is a graph to illustrate how many people are killed by masturbation. It actually represents something completely different, possibly cat food sales, but I’m guessing that most of you are actually too stupid to actually look at the graph in any detail … – some Unenlightened Commentary sadly not actually supplied by Sir Liam Donaldson (with thanks to Obnoxio the Clown) March 21st, 2009 | 3 comments - (Comments are closed)
 …and Carla Howell has just the song to put you in the mood! March 20th, 2009 | 11 comments - (Comments are closed)
This is pure genius. I must say that things are going sour for The Community Organiser quicker than you can say the words “Andrew Sullivan”. March 20th, 2009 | 13 comments - (Comments are closed)
I do not like all of Will Farrell’s movies. But this one, about a nutty US TV anchorman, is wonderful. I wonder if any actual broadcasters have ever dreamed of doing this? I bet Jeremy Paxman has. March 12th, 2009 | 4 comments - (Comments are closed)
Inspired by a rather popular children’s book and the truth, my colleague Minxuan came to work today sporting a t-shirt which I can only grant my heartiest approval: 
Aside: It is great to work in an office where one can appear in excrement-themed clothing without any fuss. (You can get the t-shirt from Threadless.) February 25th, 2009 | 6 comments - (Comments are closed)
TARP – Troubled Assets Relief Program – is not an acronym that has yet made its way across the Atlantic in a big way. But it surely won’t be long coming because yesterday it reached me, in the form of an email from Michael Jennings, containing this, which is a pictorial explanation of what it means. Apparently, some of MJ’s Aussie stockbroker mates have been circulating this amongst themselves. A few seconds of googling also got me to a TARP song. Obviously sanity is losing all the policy battles at the moment, big time, but at least sanity is speaking – and singing – out, and may yet win the ideological war. As I said in a comment on a recent Johnathan Pearce posting here, this bodes well for our great grandchildren, if not for our children. February 22nd, 2009 | 10 comments - (Comments are closed)
This is on my Amazon wish-list. I love the mad, over-the-top style of the late Terry Thomas and from a young age, was delighted by his crazy turns of phrase, his hilarious demeanor and wonderful portrayal of the upper class cad. I must say that every time I am unfortunate enough to see Gordon Brown, The Community Organiser or Sarkozy on the television, it is hard not to shout out in true TT style: “What an absolute shower!” Where did the expression “absolute shower” come from, by the way? February 17th, 2009 | 8 comments - (Comments are closed)
February 3rd, 2009 | Comments are closed
Here is something very topical for today, Inaugaration Speech Generator:
This is the result of my humble efforts to help out:
God Bless… the Internet! January 20th, 2009 | 15 comments - (Comments are closed)
Via Tom Palmer’s blog, here is an excellent picture summing up what I think of bailouts. December 10th, 2008 | 10 comments - (Comments are closed)
I am deeply concerned about the sort of world we will bequeath to our children and I promise you, the minute I get back from my holiday I will write a letter to my MP demanding that they do whatever it is you want them to do. But please, for the time being, fuck off bastard hippies. – A fictional character articulating the sane human response to PlaneStupid, courtesy of the Daily Mash. I fear that for a lot of campaigners, being a nuisance is an end in itself, and other people’s annoyance is taken to signify how stupid and morally worthless ordinary people are – and thus as reinforcement by comparison of the overweening self-esteem of the campaigners themselves. Something similar is found in the shock-jockery of the blogosphere. I frequently spot the attitude in some NO2ID-ers but I do try to counteract it. People are entitled to want to get on with their lives in a way that is meaningful to them. If you want to persuade them, then give them a reason to care and listen, don’t bully and excoriate them. In the words of Dale Carnegie: “You can’t win an argument.” December 10th, 2008 | 4 comments - (Comments are closed)
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