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Samizdata, derived from Samizdat /n. - a system of clandestine publication of banned literature in the USSR [Russ.,= self-publishing house]

Ouch

According to the Spanish newspaper El Pais, Cuban doctors have performed a number of experimental ass treatments on the 79-year old president-for-life since he first fell ill in July 2006. These treatments have reportedly included cork blockage, cork removal, high-pressure steam cleaning, violent stomach-punches from the Cuban national boxing team, Santaria chicken sacrifice, and mandatory public anti-constipation rallies.

Seeking to reassure citizens that El Jefe remained in control, a photo in Havana’s official newspaper last week showed a him relaxing and chatting with visiting Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez while receiving a colonoscopy. This appeared to be administered via an auger bit attached to the rear axle of a 1953 Plymouth.

Iowahawk

3 comments to Ouch

  • veryretired

    Love it—but it doesn’t sound nearly painful enough.

    By the by, had a just so precious letter to the editor in the local fish wrap the other day bemoaning the planned celebration in Miami when this bozo finally kicks off—all about how mean spirited and ishy it was to rejoice in a death. Luckily I had some newspaper handy to catch it when I yakked.

  • Nick M

    I hope CFM isn’t looking, but have they tried the rectal pear?

  • Steohan

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Laughed my ass off! good surprise laugh too