Ah, the free market. Don’t you love it? When offered a Two Towers DVD at Victoria station by WH Smiths, on Friday, for £18.99, three days ahead of the supposed release date, I had to turn it down for three reasons:
- My mother-in-law, whom I was visiting in Worthing, has no DVD player.
- I didn’t want to have to go back to Victoria to change it, if it was scratched.
- I knew those nice people at Tescos would have a better deal, and I would be driving right past the Tescos in Henley on Monday, on the way back from Worthing.
And lo, the Two Towers two-disk set was mine, as I’d predicted, for a mere £11-99, provided I spent fifty quid on other Tesco items. Oh please, I never get out of there for less than a full ton (£100) these days, what with nappies, slim-line tonics, and Atkins’ diet steaks. So laughing all the way to the till, with a trolley load including two small steaks valued at my saving of seven pounds, I inwardly praised Adam Smith and the mysterious workings of the free market, before I bore the precious item home. Where I was not to be disappointed.
So, where do I start? The battle scenes are immense, leavened with innumerable one-liners from Gimli, especially the one about being tossed; Gandalf is magnificently angelic, as Maian Lords are supposed to be, and the look on Saruman’s face, as the heart of his Orthanc lair had a stake driven through it by the Ents, was worth all of those decades of Christopher Lee’s dracula-esque acting skills.
And then there was the star of the show, Gollum, with his slinker-stinker routines, who even stole it out from under Gimli.
I’d also forgotten those two troll things, who opened the dark gate to Mordor, played superbly I thought by Gordon Brown and John Prescott; you would’ve thought with the amount they steal from us every year, between them, in Cabinet salaries, they wouldn’t need the moonlighting money? But, there you go.
I even enjoyed the DVD more at home, on the third viewing, than I did the first two times at the cinema. The first time had been an early screening, and I’d been surrounded by hundreds of fat, bearded, middle-aged men in sandals, chortling at in-jokes and complaining vociferously at the numerous diversions from the sacred text of the original book. Come on fellas, get a life. (What was really bad, of course, was that I understood all the in-jokes.)
The second time wasn’t much better, with less middle-aged men, and more couples, where one would keep explaining to the other the significance of certain moments:
You see, Saruman used to be a Maia of Aule…so did Sauron, before he left for Melkor, so they have this inner bond, which Gandalf never got, ‘cos he was a Fire Spirit of Manwe, which is why he can fight the Balrog, who was probably the last one on Middle-Earth, but there might be some more hiding in other places…
Oh, come on guys! When Mr Jackson makes ‘The Silmarillion’, go for it. But please leave me alone in the supposed silence of the cinema, when ‘The Return of the King’ comes out at Christmas!
Maybe I should just hang on and wait for the third DVD, but somehow I don’t think I’ll be able to manage it. Or if anyone knows a good cinema in London, which has a strict policy of machine-gunning crisp eaters, sloppy snoggers, and random chatterers, please let me know, and I’ll go there instead.
So, were there any faults? Hardly, but given that one’s impression of any book is different to everyone else’s in the world, it’s not surprising that Mr Jackson got the odd thing displaced out from my own internal mental map of Middle-Earth. The first was Rohan. It was just too brown for me, and not green or lush enough, the endless pastures sweeping away without the green banner of Rohan bearing any relation to its parched-out colour. And…errr…well, I think that’s about it. That really was it. Everything else was bang on.
Yes, it was the Dunedain and Elrond’s sons who should’ve relieved Helm’s Deep, rather than a phalanx of Elves, and didn’t those Wargs attack before the first film’s entrance to Moria, rather than afterwards in Rohan? Well, possibly. But I wasn’t counting. The film is too stunning, and too magnificent, for that. At least that’s the view from up here in Henley.
And the ‘free’ steaks, courtesy of a DVD marketing ploy, weren’t too bad, either. Praise is due both to Tescos, for supplying my dinner, but especially to Peter Jackson, for supplying the greatest film trilogy of all time. Roll on Film Three. We truly are not worthy.
Great films, but I am waiting for the “Super-secret-extra-special” version of the DVD in November … instead of the merely “Extra-Special” version that is available now.
Adam Smith, indeed.
The sad thing I found about Rohan is that I fell in love with Miranda Otto in December last year, and she got married to someone else in January. But still, how cool is this.
On the other hand, I can think of someone else who would have been good in the part.
Great films, but I am waiting for the “Super-secret-extra-special” version of the DVD in November … instead of the merely “Extra-Special” version that is available now.
We planned to do that for The Fellowship of the Ring, but after a couple days broke down and got the first DVD version. We watched it several times before the Extended version came out, so easily got our money’s worth. Indeed, that smaller case version is now our “travel copy.”
US prices are $30 nominal, $23 at most places, $20 at a couple, and $16 (plus a free 2 litre’s of 7-UP, and some batteries) at the Target chain for the next few days.
Yes, and also at Tesco presently, one can buy two bargain range CDs for £15, including some pretty good titles (Heat, Robin Hood Prince of Thieves, Secret Garden, Good Will Hunting). For now, this is even cheaper than at HMV.
Tesco is a fantastic place.
IMO, the greatest advance in social services to take place under Tony Blair’s government was the introduction of Tesco Internet Shopping.
My landlady’s son can can do odd grocery shops for her as a result. (She’s an elderly lady in Oxfordshire; he’s working in the Jordanian desert.)
Why spend money now when you can preorder you Extended Platinum Edition of Two Towers from Amazon, for shipment in November?
They fooled me last year and I ended up with 2 versions of The Fellowship of the Ring. Not this year, though. Heh.
“IMO, the greatest advance in social services to take place under Tony Blair’s government was the introduction of Tesco Internet Shopping”
Good for you. My Webvan went bankrupt and Safeway just aint the same (sniff).
I bought my copy after work at Best Buy for $20, went home, and then realized I picked up the fullscreen edition, not the widescreen. *sniff* Who the hell buys fullscreen DVDs (besides me, that is)?
Anybody know if exchanges are voided if I break the seal?
Since you’ve got the DVD, now you can hunt for the “Easter Egg” in the big battle scene. Supposedly one of the Orcs in the massed army is talking on a cell phone…
Don’t forget the Peter Jackson cameo. He’s one of the Rohirrim throwing a spear down at the orks as they try to break down the door to the keep. (Just look for the shot of one guy with a scraggly beard throwing a spear.)
TT is fantastic, but being a Pippin fanatic, I was sorely disappointed by how little was in there. Watching it after having not seen it since last fall, I was able to be a bit more objective. Jackson did a splendid job, but I sorely miss having genuine acting and dialogue among the hobbits…and the one-liners by the Hunters were almost cliche. Gandalf was superb, especially the moment he remembers his name.
Am I the only one who feels that Jackson switched the personalities of Merry and Pippin? I was not at all pleased with the Entmoot scene. I could forgive how the two met up with Treebeard, as it made the whole thing more suspenseful, but I still say more dialogue and less action in some spots woudl be valuable.
Plus, I am tired of the whole “Merry is there to educate Pippin” scenario. Given that I am not exactly impressed with Monaghan’s acting ability to begin with, I am rather biased towards Pippin anyway. Boyd does an excellent job, but he is not the Pippin that springs to my mind whenever I read the books. I dont mind that they shift scenes around or give certain moments more punch….but it seems as if out of all the characters they decided NOT to be true to were Merry and Pippin.
Sean and Elijah as Frodo were PERFECT, as usual, and Gollum was heartwrenching. The dynamics in that trio was SPOT ON…indeed, greatly enhanced by visual.
Faramir was EXCELLENT.
Battle scenes schmattle scenes. The only thing I DIDN’T enjoy about Helms Deep was that the women weren’t *quite* the way Eowyn described them. First she tells Aragorn that the women are just as fierce and tough as men out of necessity, and then we have multiple moments of the women cowering in the caves weeping uncontrollably and trying to talk soldiers out of taking family members. Not very courageous to this gal. Schmaltzy.
But I am Oh so willing to hold out ultimate criticism for the Extended version, as I know there will be scenes long looked for.
Cheers to Adam Smith, indeed! I went to Target and picked up the widescreen for $15 (thanks, Tom)!
And the dark forces of globalization allowed me to pick up an espresso drink at the new “Super Target.”
Just watched it agin. Excellent film!
Hey!
Does anyone know, how I can find some hidden extras in LOTR the fellowship of ring -EXTENDED EDITION?