President Bush today announced that the “War on Transnationalism” was going even better than expected, with all three of the EU, UN and NATO about to collapse at the first sign of an American gun.
“Our troops are ready and waiting,” said Mr Bush, “and we are confident that all they need to do is stroll into Iraq sporting their latest combat gear, and the Tranzis will immediately start begging to be taken prisoner.”
“But how will we know when this so-called War is actually won?” asked a news reporter.
“Nothing short of the total collapse of political globalisation will satisfy our troops,” said Mr Bush. “Iraq is only the beginning. But we are developing better and more effective Weapons of Mass Happiness so that people can get liberated more quickly and easily, and have more fun when it happens. Did you know McDonalds is offering 15 minutes of internet time with every Extra Value Meal now?”
“Yeah?” The reporter eyed the clock.
“That’s right. Prime Minister Blair thought of it one day when he went out for an Egg McMuffin and had a sudden urge to catch up with Samizdata.net, only he’d left his ibook at home.”
“And is it true that you are really just Blair’s pet poodle, so desperate to please him that you jump on planes at a moment’s notice in order to be at his side?”
“We have a special relationship,” said Mr Bush, giving the reporter a Very Hard Stare until his victim almost fainted.
Alice – not quite ready for the Improv yet. Don,t give up the day job.
J
“That’s right. Prime Minister Blair thought of it one day when he went out for an Egg McMuffin and had a sudden urge to catch up with Samizdata.net, only he’d left his ibook at home.”
I knew it, leftists are mac heads!
No no no, not all Mac Heads are leftists!
And lets not forget that no matter that we might support Blair and Bush on this issue, we have not forgotten what they are… statist politicos. Alice’s article is a nice tonic after all the hagiographic blather I read on many blogs just because B & B are right on this issue.
Day job? What day job?
Alice,
Excellent. More please.
Junior, get a day job.
It has to be said… ‘French’ Poodles are a noble animal who’ve gotten a bum rap lately. They’re actually German hunting dogs. The strange clip was functional for their job: jumping into frigid water to retreive downed water fowl. Thick fur on the joints for warmth; thin on other places to keep them from getting too water logged; a ball on the tail to make them more visible in the reeds.
Sort of off the topic… but since poodles keep coming up.
My mother ran a poodle kennel and I was the handler when I was teen. One of our stud dogs even managed to catch a pigeon while on a leash!
David,
Just knew you were the type to send your old Grandpa out to work in the fields, while you sit at home playing with your computer!.
“J”
There has been a rumour that the President has taken to wearing black leather gloves, carrying a riding crop and standing at parade rest gazing at a large scale wall mounted map of France.
Alice: A bit odd, but entertaining.
Perry: So your best explanation of the state of mind of Bush is not that he is a Good person, but rather that half of him is, and then there is this Big Giant Divide, and he has this second personality, that’s totally inconsistent with the first one, where he’s a Bad person.
That makes tons more sense than considering that maybe, just maybe, rabid anti-statism isn’t always right…
I like your style