Iraqi deputy prime minister and minister responsible for Iraq’s weapons programmes, Abdul Tawab Mullah Hawaish, speaking at a news conference in Baghdad, has invited the United States to send officials to visit Iraqi sites suspected of producing weapons of mass destruction. He said Iraq was not producing weapons of mass destruction and declared that U.S. claims that it was producing them were false.
“As I am responsible for the Iraqi weapons programmes I confirm here that we have no weapons of mass destruction and we have no intention to produce them.”
Damn, you are just so convincing, Abdul…
And my personal favourite – he also said Iraq would teach the United States an “unforgettable lesson” if it launched a military action to oust the government of Saddam Hussein.
“If the Americans commit a new foolish action against Iraq, we will teach them an unforgettable lesson.”
But, Abdul, honey, how would you do that? This is the US army you are talking about, remember? Lots of lovely, lovely modern missiles and other amazing equipment that actually works, not like your mucked up 1950s Soviet Scud Bs (ripped off V-2s). And besides, you just convinced me that the peace-loving Iraq has no weapons to speak of!? I am sooo confused! 
These murdering baathist socialist bastards are so far up their own arses that no rational human being, which is to say anyone who realises the Guardian is not a useful guide to the real world, could possibly believe them.