“The loss of a leg may generally be regarded as a more real calamity than the loss of a mistress.”
– Adam Smith.
I think I agree, although I guess it depends on the mistress.
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Samizdata quote of the dayDecember 8th, 2007 |
 45 comments to Samizdata quote of the day |
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And which leg, I suppose.
Well, fair enough.
I’ve not read Adam Smith yet, and was looking forward to some mystical intellectual insight (although I wouldn’t expect an invisble hand to turn the pages for me)- now I’m not so sure, if this is the quality of his axioms…
Never visit former legs.
But what value the mistress if, due to the loss of limb, you couldn’t get a leg over? Adam Smith definitely thought this through rather carefully.
(Am I getting the hang of UK slang? 🙂
Has anyone asked Heather Mills about that one?
Midwesterner……..
A good mistress will always come out on top ;-))
Haiku for Heather……..
Ah, fair mistress mine,
‘Legs, eleven’ was the call;
Alas, he cannot count.
I know, I know……bad taste.
………and one vowel too many in the last line…and no ‘edit’ facility…….that’ll teach me.
Depends on the mistress?
Such hormone induced reasoning is sure to warm many a gold-digger’s heart (among other things.)
Until, of course, you show up shy a leg, or a couple of bollen . . .
Sigh. It has to be done I suppose.
Your right leg I like. Hello I said as you came in
thet’s a lovely leg for the role!
I have nothing against your right leg.
The trouble is, neither have you.
The late great Peter Cook.
Yes Mid, your hang of UK slang is coming on nicely.
I have two legs no mistresses and am quite happy although I am a serial commentator here and I have no idea what the hell this thread is about.
Mid, yes you are but I have no idea where that phrase comes from and always thought it somewhat bizarre. But my young Padawan you a a mere starter on the lifetime quest to master the sexual euphemism and downright obscenity that these Britannic Isles have created. Frankly, most of it should be banned.
We might be shite at Football but we’re spectacular swearers. Thinking about it those two things might not be unrelated.
In ’96 my wife went on a school trip to Stratford upon Avon. During one of the more moving soliloques of The Dane one of my wife’s fellow students (who had been listening to the Euro semi-final on the sly on her Walkman radio) – England vs Germany (always an epic struggle) when Gareth Southgate fluffed his penalty and that was it and in the theatre shouted very loudly, “Oh fuck!”. Brought the house down. A lot of US/Canadian/Ozzie tourists take in a show at Stratford and God knows what they must have thought.
Whilst I’m waiting for my previous post to appear.
It may come from the same place as
Show a leg.
You know, when those jolly Jack Tars of Nelson’s time had a bit of female company aboard their guests were obliged to hang one leg over the side of the hammock so that you could tell who was occupied and who was not.
So if you were one of the ones who did not have company, perhaps you would be looking ruefully across the gangway and seeing a leg sticking out of a hammock, think to yourself
“That lucky bastard Ensign Hoskins has got a leg over again!”
I just made that up. But it seems plausible!
Then again it could be something to do with Bike riding!:-)
Oddly enough RAB, your second suggestion is remarkably plausible because no invention of H. sapiens sapiens other than hormonal contraception* was more sexually emancipating than the bicycle. Bicycles enabled trysts and whatnot and also (as is pointed out in “1066 And All That”) Bloomers. I have absolutely no idea why trousers for women were taboo in the West until very recently. None whatsoever. Makes no sense. I would like to say more about this but I won’t on a public blog. Every girl I’ve ever dated dressed in jeans by default. We have come a very long way…
*Which is very good these days. I can’t stick dopey moos bitching on the telly about getting knocked up due to a lack of sex ed. I think this is a major point why I’m a liberal (classical, natch) and not a conservative or a socialist. Seriously. Again I probably ought not to go into that too much on a public blog either.
Depends on the circumstances. If it were my left leg, the one which suffers occasional (and severe) gout attacks, I’d trade it for a decent cup of coffee, let alone a mistress.
The reason Nick, is that Victorian males
got as much satisfaction from unwrapping their presents as consumating them!
I guess it depends. The clipping of a toenail was somewhat more calamitous than the departure of The Former Mrs. Sunfish.
There are other women, though, where I could be persuaded that a leg for a lady would be an even trade.
As far as the “show a leg” thing…that was when it was time to wake the sailors up in the morning. If the leg in question was male, then the guy had to get out of his hammock and go to work. The people attached to female legs were allowed to roll over and go back to sleep.
Thanks Sunfish. I kinda knew that already.
That’s why I said I made most of it up!
COT. Have you picked up that we have a new dog?
Welsh Springer Spaniel. She is pure bliss!
If heavy on the lead.
How’s your 60lbs of shedding hair, bad breath and love? 😉
You mentioned having a new one. Springers are fun, no doubt.
My vicious beast is warming my feet right now. A bit more than 60lbs, she and I could probably both do with a little more running and a little less microwave popcorn. Funny how that happens when winter comes.
I very much enjoyed the pics RAB sent me of his dog. (I asked for them.) The dog is indeed beautiful, alert, has a kind and attentive face and is extremely energetic looking. She also looks very intelligent and probably quite clever.
I got physically tired looking at the dog. I think I’m too sedentary for one of those high energy young scouts. I imagine our RAB is either going to be the fittest of all of us or in a cardiac unit somewhere soon. But if he survives the dog’s adolesence, I think he will have a loyal and entertaining friend for a very long time.
RAB, you need a pipe and a shotgun. And proper hunting attire. BTW, do they chip dogs in the UK? Both of our ratters our chipped. Guarantees they’ll be identified even if they lose their collars.
Hey, what about Alf – chopped liver?
Sunfish, what breed is it?
Yes Alisa. Alf is well beautiful too!
We should have called ours Layla
not Saffie.
She’s got me on my knees!
She just runs flat out for hour after hour.
Alf looks entirely too well mannered and behaved to ever give you any grief. (!) Seriously, did I never comment on Alf? He looks like a big floppy rag doll. He also is focused with great intensity on whoever is holding the camera. Did you take that picture? I was going to say he looked like a bit of a pushover, but after looking at him again, I’m thinking you may have a fair bit of dog there. BTW, I’m sure you said his breed in one of the emails, but I can’t find it. It will be interesting to see how he develops. Keep us apprised of his progress as he grows up.
I’m guessing that Alf will turn out like our ratters. My sheepdogs had a moderate order of loyalty, but they most picked sides based on what was happening or my instructions. The ratters on the other hand will always side with the same people in the same order of priority regardless of all other factors.
Too bad about ‘Cat-fish Nick’ (M), tangled up with a bunch of dog people like us. Maybe he’s just never been exposed to the blessings of canine companionship. We’ll have to see if he can have an epiphany and see the truth in a flash of blinding light. You know, kind of like dog owners experience when their dog takes two laps around their ankles to cinch the leash tight and then attempts to catch a cat. It’s usually just after you realize your feet are tied together and headed up the staircase along with the dog and cat that you see that blinding flash of light.
RAB,
“Layla”. I love it. Do you Clapton to get her attention? Does she keep you up ’til After Midnight? Or is she an ’80s dog that’s only after your Money and Cigarettes?
Well, that’s more like it. Alf is a Bouvier (des Flandres). Pushover? He is 3 months old, has been here a week, and is already bossing around the (male) Shar Pei that used to own the yard, and the female Kerry Blue that is silly enough to believe she is his mother. He is a real stinker, in both metaphorical and literal sense, but he is learning very fast. After doing what he is supposed to do on the grass, he runs back in, and sits ready to get his treat.
He actually is supposed to be more of a sheepdog than a ratter.
What was the original thread about, BTW?
Something about legs or the lack of them, apparently.
I was rather hoping Paul marks had been to the Isle of man and we could have a little travelogue!
Not many sheep to worry in your part of the world then?
I thought Jackie Kennedy/Onassis was a Bouvier.
Or am I getting confused?
She was – I wonder if there is a connection there.
Mid,
that never happened to me. I don’t think my Golden could drag me up the stairs, although I’m sure she’d be glad to try. My cat, on the other hand…okay, he’s not all that big. Besides, everybody knows what cats are thinking: “You just wait. When you don’t out-weigh me twenty to one, you’re lunch.”
When I get home from work, I’ve discovered that the dog will carry my car keys (or gloves, or TV remote, or pretty much whatever else will fit) around in her mouth while wagging furiously, and my cat will try to drink my beer.
Alisa,
She’s a golden retriever, you know, pretty much the best dogs out there even if they do leave muddy prints and hair everywhere they go no matter how much I brush them.
Darn. Maybe cats are smarter than I thought. As for Goldens, I have to agree. They are absolutely the most extreme combination of brains, honesty (dog lovers will definitely know what I’m talking about), generosity and pleasant disposition. I seriously in my life have never met a Golden I didn’t like.
Speaking of pets drinking beverages, I used to enjoy watching a friend of mine school horses. I liked watching the horses some too. 🙂 One day while she is dressing a particularly hyper horse, he keeps snuffling my cold coffee. I let him satisfy is curiosity, and he drank the cup dry. A horse with style.
Sunfish: I knew it:-) Mid: and I bet it wasn’t decaf either.
Me? Drink decaf? Surely you jest!
You might as well suggest that Sunfish eats tofu burgers to go with his alcohol free beer.
Mmmmm. Caffeine.
Bleeding Colonials know nothing of the finer things of life since that little spat back in 1776 and Boston…
Americans cant make a decent cup of coffee to save their life, You need Italians for that!
I’m a Tea man myself.
Punjana. A delicate blend of… Well
If you live somewhere other than Britain, India or Sri Lanka, then you havent tasted tea, because the stuff they sell the rest of you are the floor sweepings.
No really! I ‘ve been to Sri Lanka. They are very jokey about it!.
MMmmm gotta get my daily tannin!
Oh no he di-int! What do they know about coffee in Europe anyway? All I could ever get in the UK was instant!
Besides, at least we don’t name our desserts after things that make me think I should see a doctor.
And Mid? You never know about the gardenburgers. I might have moved to Madison when nobody was looking. And Alcohol-Free Beer? We have that here too.
Sunfish, believe me it takes an Italian to make a good cup of coffee.
When I grew up 50s/60s all the cafes in the S wales Valleys were owned by italian immigrants and the coffee was better than anything in England.
Ah Spotted Dick I think you are referring to.
My Dad was a cook for the RAF in WW2. In Sri Lanka.
Well it aint all meat and potatoes, the lads want a pudding. So dad did Spotted Dick one day.
The main ingredients are flour and sultanas.
Unfortunately the Japs had sunk the sultanas, they were on an unlucky convoy, so he had to improvise.
The result was known as “Barkers Sinkers” throughout the entire Far East for their delicate touch on the digestive tract.
Ahhh. Colorado Cool-Aid. I understand it’s alcohol free, but is it beer?
One good thing (very good thing) about Wisconsin (besides snow and cold but you got that too) is the beer. The University of Wisconsin/Madison has a Barley and Malt Laboratory.
I can recommend a light beer that is worth your time, and when you’re looking for something with a little more presence, try this. Our state motto is “America’s Dairyland”, but some pundit noticed we lead the nation in some other categories and proposed our motto should be “Land of Beer, Brats, Cheese and Toilet Paper”. I’d say we got the important stuff just about covered.
As for coffee, I make very good coffee. A Brit lecturing Americans on coffee, sigh. But finding out if he’s right we be a good excuse to visit Italy.
I forget. What was this thread about, again?
Post script: Given a choice between ‘Spotted Dick’ and ‘Spotted Cow’, I have no doubt whatsoever I would choose the Wisconsin product.
Well, the fermentable sugars come from grain as opposed to fruit or molasses, so technically I suppose it is. But I’m going to find the guy who decided to put rice syrup into beer, and the video of that encounter will get 136 (and counting) postings on Samizdata.
I’ve had a New Glarus before, I think it was the stout. Good stuff. I haven’t even scratched the surface of the European styles yet. (Except for Kolsch. I don’t know who owns Cologne right now, but the city needs to be liberated at once!)
And then there’s the Harley plant. Or is Milwaukee considered a Chicago suburb now? Either way, I’m sure that’s important somehow.
Call me crazy, but I actually like the stuff from Wild Oats’ bulk line. (Green Mountain Roasters or something like) even if it is hippy fair-trade stuff. Guatemalan Gold, I think it was called.
When I suggested starting a smuggling ring last summer, I was stuck for a product. But now, I think we have something! Although if we start delivering it to a stormy Welsh seacoast while dodging the UK coast guard we might need to call it a “free trade” coffee instead.
I’m pretty sure it was about dog legs. Or something. I haven’t the heart to scroll up, for fear that I might have posted in the “UK girls are ugly because they don’t have botox” thread.
But they will all be supporting you. Moderation in defense of beer is no virtue. Extremism in defense of beer is no vice. Or something. Are you serious? Rice syrup?
Oh St. Vince Lombardi, NO! Them’s fightin’ words, son.
Sounds like something I remember from the ’70s. Are you sure it’s coffee?
I was disappointed that a local brew that I like got such comparatively negative reviews. I like it because it has excellent complex and balanced flavor, but it doesn’t feel sticky in the mouth like so many dark brews do. Some reviewers liked it, but some panned it.
When I’m in Madison, this is where I hang out. The last review is best. He left out the whole huge sailing thing, but he pretty well nailed the rest of it.
No, that’s a different one. This one is about them hanging their legs out of the hammock, back when they did not have botox. the hotel where we stayed in London had excellent coffee, and it was not instant (although I love instant). and of course there were plenty of Italian places around too. Come to think of it, thank god for Italy, in so many ways.
“In so many ways”? I meant “for so many reasons”.
Yes I must say Guatemalan Gold does sound more combustible than sippable.
Dog legs ! Now you’re talking.
There I was on the 16th, my drive had missed the traps and there was 150 yds to the pin.
So I took out my trusty eight iron and…
See you all at the 19th for a large one.
Samizdata.
No joke. Mass-produced crud is normally brewed pretty weak. Rice syrup is added to increase the amount of fermentable sugar and therefore the alcohol content, even though rice adds nothing to either body or flavor. When you consider that it’s still only raising the alcohol to 3.2%, you understand why someone’s going to the wall over this when the zymurgical revolution happens.
Is THAT why I like it so much? Maybe that’s why I had a random a few weeks ago and got some weird looks in the office today.
RAB:
A golf course is a waste of a rifle range. And the water hazards would be vastly improved by adding bass and, well, sunfish.
Sigh. So many irrational prejudices in the world and so little time to dispell them. Fore!! 😉
I can think of nothing funny to say about your description of the ‘brewing’ process for imitation beer product. The only beer in a can that I’ve had in ages is Guinness. I’m not sure if that counts.
Maybe it’s all the coffee I drink, but I have a lot of randoms and get strange looks. I always attributed it to my dashing savoir-faire. That, and my dashing to the bathroom all the time. Coffee does that.
No, not at all. Think of the golfers as hazards on the rifle range. And while it’s really hard to hit those tiny balls at distance, it is good practice. And it’s way much fun to watch the golfers reactions when they see their 3 foot eagle putt vaporize a couple seconds before they hear the shot. Upsets them a bit. Better than any video game.
Oy.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/video/2007/dec/14/dancing.police
I know we are in the Twilight Zone but that one’s for you Sunfish.
If I had your email I’d send you a pic of our litle beauty.
Happy Christmas.
Thanks for that one, RAB! This could justify Guardian’s and Reuters’ existence.