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May the Force be with you This story catches the eye:
The UK’s Jedi community today expressed concerns that government plans to ban Samurai swords could hinder their freedom to wield lightsabres in public.
The UK’s Home Office today issued a consultation paper ahead of legislation intended to ban Samurai blades by the end of the year. In a bid to “protect the public”, replica Samurai swords will become illegal to import, sell and hire in Britain.
The quote marks around “protect the public” are deserved. Quite how such a ban will “protect” anyone is a mystery. The ban on handguns has not led to a dramatic fall in gun-crime, as the recent spate of shootings in London demonstrate all too plainly. If swords are banned to prevent crimes, why not go the whole hog and ban kitchen knives?
Come to that, why not take up the idea of banning opposable thumbs? Human beings – we are not a feature, but a bug!
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Unfortunately, the response of those who use swords for non-criminal purposes (e.g. martial artists) seems to be very similar to the response of sporting shooters when facing a ban. They are usually accepting of the ban, on the understanding that the government offers an exemption to properly certified members of their organisation for their particular sport.
I note also that some have even gone so far as to say that their swords shouldn’t be banned because they aren’t weapons.
Nu Labor bans things. It’s what they do. It’s all that they do. They can’t be bargained with, they can’t be reasoned with, they don’t feel pity, remorse or fear. And they absolutely will not stop, ever.
Dear Sir,
Thank God for this timely and essential legislation!
Just down the hill from me, on the Gloucester Road, you cannot move for people carrying Samurai swords.
And they will flick a square of silk in the air and slice it to ribbons at the drop of a hat.
Not only is this dangerous, but tiresome.
We all know Samurai swords can do that!
It’s about time that this Government addressed the real problems that face us as a Nation.
So Hurrah again for Nulab’s sound common sense!
Befuddled
Bristol
Forget the Jedi,
What about this guy?
He’s a bit of a local celeb around where I live.
Well whilst I’m waiting for my original post to be unSmited…
The thing that caught my eye was “And Hire”
People hire Samurai swords?
Where is the shop?
What kind of conversation goes into hiring one?
Well if you get it back to us in under three hours, minus the blood stains and DNA, it’s only 99p. But if you want it for the whole weekend it’s £4.99
John K –
That’s pretty funny.
We could stop death completely within a generation if only we banned unprotected sex.
Will this include a ban on officers holding their military dress swords at home?
Will they be confiscating swords already in private hands? Will they be paying?
A genuine “antique” samurai sword can be worth a staggering sum. Hell, a real “folded steel” replica sword is probably worth $10K. Even my set (non-folded, but with a very nice hamon from the tempering process) is probably worth at least $5K.
This could run into some serious money. And for nothing. How many crimes were committed with samurai swords?
And why pick on samurai swords, when a cavalry saber (or any other sword) will work just as well?
…a cavalry saber (or any other sword) will work just as well?
Indeed it will. But, the “samurai sword” has for some reason acquired a reputation as being better than anything else. This is presumably why it is the weapon of choice for the occasional nutter who flips out and attacks people with a sword. Perhaps that silly film “Higlander” has something to do with it.
We’ve heard this before. But that was only an attack on a LibDem politician, and no change in the law actually happened. Some of us thought that since cutting people or threatening them with swords as already illegal, then no further action was required.
Either someon has, in the last year, been found fantasiing about using such a weapon on a member of the governing party’s or the Home Office’s clientele to produce such a sudden change in attitude; or it is this week’s designated authoritarian gesture.
Entirely agree with post. Only this line was poorly put together:
“The ban on handguns has not led to a dramatic fall in gun-crime, as the recent spate of shootings in London demonstrate all too plainly.”
The plural of anecdote is not data.
If a nutter wants to go on a killing spree, he will not think “oh I can’t be arsed, it’s not the same without a good samurai sword.” He will just go to B&Q and pick up a couple of decent axes.
What a load of crap. It’s good to know our tax is being spent on something useful
Does this ban include my 48-inch stainless steel Klingon Bat’Leth?
Hey, has anyone else noticed how sharp some pencils and pens are? I’ve cut myself quite a few times with one of those deadly instruments!
Oh, no!! The Kids!! The Kids!! The school kiddies are encouraged to carry COMPASSES around with them! When will someone tell NuLabrador all about this so we can all be saved??!
We often follow Britain or America, so we’re looking for you to save us! You can’t let Australia down!!
It appears that your leaders consider the British citizenry too feeble-minded to handle anything sharper than blunt kindergarten scissors. And if you let them get away with this, I will have to concede that they may have a point.
Mitch,
The problem is, we can’t actually stop them. The United Kingdom constitution posses no checks or balances; Parliament is elected for a five year term, and in that period the Government is free to do anything which Parliament is prepared to allow. The system of government really is that of an elected dictatorship.
I’m typing this (with difficulty) with a tissue wrapped round my finger to staunch the flow of blood from a paper cut. My children use paper at school! We must ban this dangerous material immediately!
RAB wrote
Well in that case the only answer is, and I am sure Tony Blair would agree on this, we must immediately ban the sale of silk handkerchiefs. If we remove the need for samurai-sword wielders to boast in public as to their prowess or the sharpness of their weapon then we will therefore cut all samurai sword crime and thus reduce the increasing burglary, drug use and robbery rates by samurai (or should that be ronin?).
In particular we should ensure that small towns and villages throughout the UK learn to respect the law and trust in their local police force, despite being mostly non-existent in many rural areas, and NOT hire gangs of seven evil, ruthless samurai-wielding criminals to defend them from local drugdealers and sabatier knife wielders.
JK, the plural of anecdotes are not data, you say. Well, if one adds up all the gun crimes committed since the ban on handguns in Dublane in 1996, and compare the level of guncrime now in our cities with what it was in say, 1960, the evidence is so overwhelming as to render argument mute. Yes, there have been shocking individual cases of shootings which prompted the crackdown on guns being held by non-criminals, but in the main, the crackdown has had no visible impact on gun crime.
Hence my argument. This book (Link)is a good place to start and it is packed with data.
> The system of government really is that of an elected dictatorship.
I think the use of the word ‘elected’ there, gives the word ‘dictatorship’ too much respectability, in the same sense that the synonym ‘elected representative’ gives its underlying word, ‘politician’, too much respectability.
At the risk of invoking Godwin’s Law (whoops, mea culpa), we never seem to refer to Mr Hitler’s socialist regime as being an ‘elected dictatorship’, despite its being elected under a democratic mandate far better than the 25% of eligible voters who voted for Mr Blair’s regime of rent seekers, at the last UK general election. We simply refer to Mr Hitler’s socialist regime as being a ‘dictatorship’, sans the word ‘elected’.
We should adopt this approach when discussing Mr Blair’s socialist regime (or Mr Brown’s or Mr Cameron’s future socialist regimes), thus:
The system of government really is that of a dictatorship.
I thank you.
I wonder how they will define ‘replica’, or ‘samurai sword’ come to that.
Will my Japanese WW2 machine made one be OK? How about my two Chinese ones made for the Japanese when they were over there? The Chinese ones are hand made folded steel with clay tempering; traditionally made in other words, but are they ‘real’.
They are 70 years old, does that count?
Typical Nulab gesture politics; address a non-existant problem with draconian legislation so you can be smug about your ‘legacy’.
Turds.
The Historical European Martial Arts community* is fighting this proposed ban but if you do have a view on the matter please do let the govt know(Link).
We all know that banning will not have an impact on street crime and this proposal is aimed at headlines rather than effect. Hopefully pointing this out loudly and clearly enough will lead to it being quietly shelved.
*http://www.bfhs.co.uk(Link)
* http://www.hemac.org(Link)
Under NuLab we’re clearly intent on banning anything that can possibly injure the public -handguns (to their shame it was the Tories who did this one), replica guns and now samurai swords all under ‘elf and safety innit mate.
I agree pencils and pens can be pretty dangerous and should be banned in public places.
But what about the weather. How many more people need to die on our roads because of snow and ice. Banning cars is impractical because of the tax revenues we get from them in vat and fuel duty, so as we can’t ban winter we should ban people.
It should be made illegal to leave your house in snow or ice. Because it’s unclear when it will snow, it should be illegal to leave your house between 1st November and March 31st. This action will save 17 lives (but cause the death of 1000’s due to boredom).
Whils we’re on it as it raises my blood pressure and causes homicidal urges to overcome me whenever I see a NuLab minister on TV spouting lies or other inanities, we should ban NuLab. Given the Tories won’t be much better in power, we should ban politics as highly dangerous to our elf n’ safety. As a minimum we should make the use of Patrica Hewitt illegal in all circumstances. She has nearly caused mass suicide on a number of occasions. Can no-one stop this evil woman?
Well obviously Patricia Spewitt (three cheers for the RCN!) but what about Hazel Bleary, Roof Kelly, David Millipede and Captain Darling? I’m really at a push to name anymore.
I can’t name too many Tories, so we’ll skip them. I’ve said enough about Dave “The Boy” Cameron in the past, Billy Hague and DD seem decent blokes and George Osborne is a complete blank for me.
The Lib-Dems should be maintained because when it comes to offensive weaponry they’re about as effective as wet celery. They are also the nearest thing we get to the Muppet Show on British Telly these days.
Ps. And what is it with Darling’s eyebrow/hair colour combo?
I fear in our rush to take the piss
we have forgotten the plight of the original protagonists that Johnathan picked up upon.
Namely, the esteemed and growing band of Jedi Knights, who fear their light sabres will be taken from them!
I propose a simple curbside test for this (Sunfish could probably get the procedure down to a couple of mildly incoveniencing minutes)
It’s called the Stork and butter test.
Older readers will remember the Stork or Butter test, which tried to con the public that margarine tasted like butter. This is completely different.
Would the noble lord, please apply his light sabre to a tub of marg and a pat of butter for 30 seconds please.
Hmm. No discernable difference. No melting has occured.
You are free to go and save the Universe, Noble Lord…
Next.
It’s not just Jedi Knights that could be affected (the marg / butter test is a great idea).
Consider the morris dancers, one of those bells or the hankies they flick about could take an eye out so that should be banned. NuLab really needs to protect the public here. Do you think morris dancers undertake a full risk assessment and employ consultants to produce a report before each performance. Its simply outrageous that they don’t. Prison is too good for these bastards.
Or how about drunken students? In Brighton where I live the streets are frequently littered with drunken students recovering from a particularly heavy night out. You could trip on one and break a leg….Where are the elf n’ safety police when we need them? All students should be imprisoned on elf n’ safety grounds.
It will also brighten the place up a bit and enable me to park my car where some bugger has parked his wreck which will not move for about three months until the next student holiday.
I must ask: are you poor benighted brits so beaten-down that you cannot even muster a little serious outrage over another bisection of your balls? I see plenty of trivialization of the notion of banning this class of “saturday-night-special-swords”, but doesn’t it strike even a few of you as if the last tiny residue of testosterone is being bled from the British body politic?
Let me know when your blood really does become the color of rosewater, and those extra toes drop-off.
In the meantime, I must clear my head of the image of mass castration that seems to be the British fate, and contemplate the purchase of one of these before the US Democrat party institutes the AWB redux! Ahh! Mas macho!
I would have thought the answer was obvious. The conversation ought to go something like this:
“Let’s see your ID card.”
“You don’t need to see my ID card.”
“I don’t need to see your ID card.”
“This is not the Samurai sword you are looking for.”
“That’s not the Samurai sword we’re looking for.”
“Move along.”
“Move along, now, move along. Stop blocking the path, or I’ll give you an ASBO for obstruction.”
After the real samurai swords have gone, as well as all those sharp pens and pencils and other stuff waiting to hurt us, we’ll need to ban light sabers. Aside from using up power like that, it reminds people that governments should be accountable to the people- all that Restoring Republic rot! Perhaps Jedburgh could be renamed, because Jed reminds people of Jedi, Jedi knight, fighting for freedom, etc. And we don’t want kiddles growing up violent, so NuLabrador, the party that wants to guide voters who are blind to their own best interests, should start banning water-pistols, the obvious next step.
RAB:
Yeah, but you’d have to use cops who aren’t geeks. Otherwise I’d start asking where I could get one and whether the green blades are in fact better than the violet ones. Then I’d be asking to carry it at work…yeah, nothing good could come of it.
“Say, you got a license for that thing? I’m sorry, but your license says ‘Concealed Firearms License,’ not ‘Concealed Lightsaber License.’ No, I don’t think the Imperial Senate really cares that the blaster is clumsy and uncivilized, it’s what’s on your license! You’ll need a different training course and endorsement to carry a lightsaber on your license. No, open carry is perfectly okay, just not concealed.”
Or the UK police style: like the above, but with 43 pages of paperwork, half an hour on hold while trying to call the Crown Prosecution Service with a question that they didn’t want to answer anyway, twelve administrative detections claimed, and a Chief Inspector telling the press about how not arresting a Jedi Knight shows the East Westshire (North Division) Police Service commitment to diversity training.
So have you guys been watching “Kill Bill”　again? I mean the more violent Asian version.
JSinAZ, why are you picking on the British? Didn’t your Fedgov recently outlaw Internet Gambling from home? Where are the riots, the mass uprisings? Aren’t the Americans also spineless?
We are all being bled to death by the sharp red tape, which is only meant to strangle us! When I next hear of popular protests in america overturning a law, I’ll listen to you.
Nu-Lab really are barking mad!! Are samurai swords really a sufficient threat to the public well being to warrant legislation?
The odd nutter that does harm with one would simply use something else instead. Though probably any ban on them would simply make them cheaper and easier to get hold of, from “a bloke” down the pub.
Ban hand guns – Hmnnn…. That worked just fine, no one getting shot with handguns these days. Not since they have been exclusively concentrated in the hands of the non law abiding. Good one Darth Blair: NOT!
After samurai swords it’ll be boxing gloves, or maybe conkers, I think they are already softening us up on conkers.
Btb: You can pick up a nice light sabre from Forbidden Planet