Such as, how to pack and ship a hippopotamus…
I find the idea of life without the internet is just unimaginable.
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Everything important you need to know is on the internetSeptember 29th, 2006 |
 16 comments to Everything important you need to know is on the internet |
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I find the idea of life without the internet is just unimaginable.
know what Perry, I was thinking exactly that just as I fired -up Firefox…
Very cool Hippo blogging!
A-fucking-men.
so true but now i just need to get a life besides the internet
Verily I say unto you Hardatwork
Cast thy emails upon the cybernet
And Lo!
Real people will turn up at thy door.
often at the appointed day/hour.
Depending on the cool folk you may, or may not know,
they may even, come baring gifts like kicking CD’s to feed your ipod with!
The Internet. What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing.
If the Internet were of any use, it would not have been developed by the military-industrial complex of the Great Satan, and then further developed by private corporations (while they were taking time off from killing kittens for their delicious blood and torturing puppies for entertainment).
If the Internet were truly a force for good, it would have been invented by a commune of sociologists and drama students in a worker’s paradise (e.g. USSR, PRC, DPRK, Cambodia), and it would have been made out of tofu.
I rest my case.
The internet is the opiate of the masses; it fills their heads with information, confusing their tiny minds, and thereby preventing them from feeling oppressed. If this trend continues, the bloody revolution which is supposed to install me as supreme leader may never come about.
But seriously, the Internet represents so much of what the left stands against. Consider:
1) No method of silencing dissent. The left can no longer shout down speakers, use force or intimidation, etc. Puerile shouts of “fascist,” “nazi,” or “racist” directed against any speaker who dare to challenge any leftist dogma (most of the time having nothing to do with the above three epithets), no longer have any effect.
There exists no regulatory body to remove “questionable material” (at least as long as you don’t live in China, France, Germany, etc.). Similarly, there exists no speech code, and very little that can happen to you for simply speaking your mind. Individuals are finally free to write what they feel like, without any fear of persecution.
2) Access to immense, uncontrolled, amounts of information. Das Kapital, and other leftist scriptures are increasingly becoming small works in a vast sea of information, no longer enjoying the biblical status of their long-expired golden age. Left-wing talking points also lose their potency as their validity can easily be checked, and they are often found to be complete distortions or outright lies (especially when they involve historical facts).
3) No affirmative action (and the world has not yet imploded). Individuals are judged by the content of their writing, and not by the colour of their skin. “Minorities” are no longer promoted due to their “minority” status, but rather by their ability to produce ideas and other products. Individuals are finally free to compete based solely on ability.
4) Having spent the last 60 years attempting to infiltrate and control the commanding heights of information dissemination and propaganda (e.g. newspapers, TV stations, institutions of higher “learning”), the left now finds their investment increasingly threatened.
I’m sure these ideas could be developed further, and more could be added as well. Of course, the Internet is also allowing the left to wall themselves off from reality, maintaining strict control over the information received by their acolytes who only visit sites such as Daily Kos (which is surprisingly intellectually lacking, even for a leftist rag).
Anyways, the fact that the “military-industrial complex,” the “bourgeoisie,” and “capitalism” has managed to empower the masses to such a large extent, while centuries of leftist social experimentation has produced nothing but death, and furthermore, that the empowerment of the masses is actually turning some of them against the established leftist order, must weigh heavily on the minds of the more astute leftists (the one or two who can be described as such). 🙂
The internet is wonderful.
Tell ya why.
Bet ya never heard of a game called Hardwar.
Libertarians should love it because it’s a space trading/combat game – a veritable spiritual successor to Elite.
OK, it’s from 1998 and it’s a bit clunky but it’s enormous fun.
I run (and neglect – though a HD crash has a lot to do with that – I rebuilt a machine with RAID – it was the least fun I ever had) one of the highest ranked Hardwar websites out there.
I love checking the “Geo” stats. I get visitors from everywhere. People on all continents have now skinned their moths* with my designs.
When I was a kid, maybe I could have spread a few audio cassette for people’s Speccies round the school yard but now I have global reach from a front room in Manchester.
Wow!
Nick
*A “moth” is a one of the little craft that Hardwar players fly. They are so called because they are solar-powered and tend to congregate arounf Titan’s “Lightwells”. Unless, of course, you get a fusion cell. Then it’s rock and roll!
When I was in high school, I was lucky enough to get into a very exclusive private prep school because of the recommendation of a concerned parish priest, and my mother’s willingness to pay almost $1000 a year in tuition at a time when she only made about $3500/year. It was great.
The best part was the small class size, both overall and on a daily basis. I made friends that I can still get together with on the rare occasion we’re in the same locale, the rarest kind—friends for life.
I went on to a small, fairly exclusive college, paid for by the generosity of a scholarship donor, where I also fell in with a small group of friends who met between classes in one of the student lounges, played a never-ending game of bridge, and got together for pizzas and football games.
During my working career, I was fortunate to always find a few people who could be counted on for some good conversation over lunch, or other congenial activities in our free time.
And now, although my world is somewhat smaller, and certainly less involved with new people and new adventures, I still look forward each day to getting together with my friends, having some good conversation, learning something new about hippos, and realizing, yet again, the important thing is the connection.
I can imagine life without the internet, but it wouldn’t be nearly so enjoyable.
(BTW, would that hippo be checked luggage? I don’t think the tank would fit under the seat.)
veryretired’s account is well written and quite touching.
Sorry for making yet another post, but I neglected to add:
“and probably more enjoyable to read than my own posts in this thread.” 🙂
You might have a problem taking the tank onto an aircraft anyway – I think in the UK they might want you to sample the hippo’s water to ensure it isn’t hydrogen peroxide. Not a pleasant thought.
Hey Nick you got a link for Hardwar? looks interesting.
The above is why I couldn’t live without the internet 🙂
There’s always something new to find, new avenues of thought to explore, things to learn. Without it I wouldn’t be who I am now. Never mind shaping the minds and society of th next generation, it’s had a profound effect on this one.
veryretired eloquent on connection. Yes!
Also…the Internet isn’t the soma to lapse the citizens into navelgazing entertainment while the tyrants take over.
It’s the antidote to tyrants and their tools, the MSM who have failed us so badly. I used to believe them and trust them. I have more information now, and experts, and independent thought.
Won’t be fooled again!
Plus, while I do very little with my blog, I can flatter myself with being important as a member of the Commentariat. A voice crying in the wilderness. Inflicting my opinions unsolicited on others. If anyone’s even reading them. (I am so full of BS!!!) LOL
Sounds like the recipe I have for roast elephant (whole) in a collection of African recipes. It calls for 1 elephant, 1 ton of charcoal, dirt to cover, and 2,000 12 oz jars of brown gravy.
‘solicited’, kentuckyliz. That is, unless your hacking into computers and ramming your opinions down unwilling throats.