My friend Ed

Compared to other people (or rather, other people of my acquaintance) I joined the internet revolution rather late. While most people I meet are able to boast that they have had an e-mail address since the late (or even mid) 1980’s, I was not similarly endowed until 1998.

But what I lacked in early adoption techniques I made up for in subsequent enthusiasm. This was a whole new frontier and I revelled and rejoiced in the exhilirating liberation it provided. I am sure that plenty of our readers have experienced that same feeling.

And it was while I was on this big journey of discovery and emancipation that I stumbled across a forum (there were no blogs in those olden times) run by LM Magazine. LM stands (or stood) for ‘Living Marxism’ and it was run by the same people who, today, run Spiked-Online.

As with most internet fora, there was a regular contingent of posters and, in the case of the LM Forum, this consisted of a whole gaggle of Marxists, Communists and Trotskyites. Into this lion’s den barged (or perhaps blundered) two libertarians; one of them was me and the other was an American called Ed Collins. I have to tell you that Ed and I had a whale of a time thrashing away at this brigade of assorted bolsheviks and, while the debates became intense and vigourous, it all remained remarkably even-tempered. In fact, and strange as it may sound, the whole forum was awash with a consistent and comprehensive good humour. I suppose this was, at least partly, down to the fact that the LM regulars were old-school lefties who still had some respect for intellectual rigour and a contempt for emotionalism and establishment conformity (unlike their po-faced, post-modern successors). There were even some things which united us all. For example, we all loathed the PC paternalism of people like Tony Blair and Bill Clinton and we all really, really, really hated the Greens.

I have truly fond memories of the old LM Forum and its idiosyncratic spirit of freewheeling, anarchic political debate.

In 2000, LM Magazine was on the wrong end of a disastrous libel suit as a result of which it was driven into bankruptcy. The magazine closed down and the forum went with it. I know not what became of its revolutionary leftie cadres but Ed Collins and I stayed in touch. In fact, we became pen-friends.

Ed and I would exchange letters by e-mail in which we discussed our ideas, disected current affairs and, occasionally, expressed our despair at that state of things on both sides of the Atlantic. From his postings on the LM Forum, I already knew that Ed was one of the good guys but it was not until we started to correspond regularly that I learned to appreciate his wit, his humanity and his majestic intellect. He has truly been an inspiration to me.

Ed and I would often speculate on the possibilities of actually meeting face-to-face. Either I could take a trip to Colorado or he to London but, either way, we always planned to meet up at some point, sit down together with a few frosty beers and set the world to rights. But we both had careers to pursue and busy lives and, somehow, that meeting did not come to pass.

And now it never will.

In the Spring of 2003, Ed wrote to me with the gut-wrenching news that he had been diagnosed as suffering from cancer. In response, I was as tongue-tied as most other people seem to be when presented with such a bombshell. All I could do was to assure him of my friendship and support and offer up my hopes and prayers for a full and speedy recovery.

Since then, Ed has stayed in touch with me, despite having to endure this savage affliction and the necessary, but debilitating, medical treatments. For a while the prospects for a recovery looked quite promising but, as time passed, it became clear that the tumours were spreading and that the cancer was voraciously and inexorably consuming him. As a helpless onlooker on another Continent, all I could do was to continue sending him my prayers and my support.

It was not enough. Ed Collins is now in hospice care at the Denver VA Medical Centre where he is living out the last few days of his life.

I have never met Ed Collins. I have never even spoken to him on the telephone. I do not know what he looks like or how old he is and I really know very little about his life. I know that he had a good life and I know this because he told me so in one of the letters he sent to me at a time when he was already expecting with worst. I am grateful that he chose to share some of that good life with me and, in doing so, make my life better than it otherwise would have been.

I must also take this opportunity to express my gratitude to Ed’s friend, Jeff LeFlore. Jeff and his family have looked after Ed these past few months while his health and body were deteriorating. Jeff has also taken the time and trouble to speak to me by telephone and act as a go-between to pass my last letter to Ed now that Ed is no longer capable of corresponding himself. Thank you, Jeff.

The last communication I received from Ed was on 12th January this year. At that time, although I knew that things looked rather grim, I do not suppose I really appreciated just how bad they were. This is an excerpt from that e-mail:

I’ve tremendously enjoyed reading your stuff over on Samizdata and other places, and wish I felt like participating rather than merely being passive.

I rather like the sane and thoughtful comments of the Samizatistas. Keep up the good work, David, and always remember that there is Hope in the world.

I am sure that Ed knew exactly how bad things were and just how close he was to the end. Yet, there was no faltering in the towering dignity and resilient heroism that was the mark of the man.

Yes, there is hope for the world. But I cannot help but feel that there will be marginally less of it when Ed Collins dies.

I am writing this not because I want to share my grief and sadness at his passing. That is, and will remain, a private matter. But I want the world to know about Ed Collins. I want the world to know that he is among the best of us. Above all, I want the world to know that I am honoured and privileged to be able to call him my friend.