Quick… this man needs a blog

Lawrance M. Bernabo, Amazon reviewer #2 with 6700 reviews behind him faces a Hamletesque (Hamletian?) dilemma:

To review, or not to review: that is the question:

Whether ’tis better to post reviews and cover

The pros and cons of action figures,

Or to write reviews about best sellers,

And by reviewing diss them? To critique: to review;

No more; and have a life again we end

The long-nights and the thousand misspeeled words

and buy things instead, ’tis a consumption

Amazon devoutley wish’d. To critique, to review;

To review: perchance be voted: Yeah, there’s the fun;

For in those votes for reviews what ranking may come

Whence we may achieve a cute little badge,

Must make us crazed: such obsession

Surely makes such big time fun of reviewing life;

For who would bear the wit and scorns of posts,

The counter review, the second page oblivion,

The pangs of negative votes, posting delay,

The insolence of edits and revisions

The steady rise of the unworthy reviewer,

When anyone might their ascension make

With some extra accounts? who would freebies take,

To read and review someone’s new book,

But that the fun of something never reviewed,

The undiscover’d product for the nounce

No reviews critique, inspires the mind

And makes us rather review everything we have

Than review those things that we know not of?

Thus ranking does make competitors of us all;

And thus the constant cry re: ranking

Is debated o’er with constant call for reform,

And reviews of great length and insight

With words counts the elves judge too high,

Do lose the chance of posting.– Submit you more!

Fair Amazon.com! Jeff, on thy pages

Be all my reviews spotlighted.

We conclude that he needs a blog. Now!

Via Many-2-Many