About a month ago, Norwegian blogger Bjorn Staerk composed a sumptuous satire of the marxoid mentality in a parodistic review of the Lord of the Rings:
Working hard to foil the plans of these good, decent white folks are the “evil” Saruman, and the even more “evil” Sauron, rulers of two countries called Isengard and Mordor. Both are portrayed as near-demonic in their hatred of our white heroes. Sauron is no more than a big, red eye, hovering in the air, clearly implying that he’s some kind of “Devil”. Both have massive armies at their disposal, consisting entirely of filthy, ugly monsters that happen to be black, every single one of them.
I wonder how many people read that, chuckled and thought to themselves that, in reality, no respectable left-wing commentator or pundit could ever possibly plumb the depths of such absurdity?
If you were one of those people, you were wrong, because Bjorn Staerk’s creation was both witty and remarkably prescient.
British socialist and Independent columnist, Johann Hari has not only risen to the bait, he has grabbed hold of it and ripped it to shreds in a feeding frenzy. Perhaps Mr Hari also read the Bjorn Staerk piece, got entirely the wrong end of the stick and decided to follow its lead. More likely, though, that he thought this up all by himself.
In an editorial he has called ‘Oppose Tolkein!’ (which itself sounds as if it has been lifted straight out of the Student Trotskyite Handbook), Mr Hari warns the world that the Tolkein classic is, in fact, a thinly-veiled Nazi screed:
The most obvious is racism. The purely evil Orcs are, in Tolkien’s words, “squat, flat-nosed, sallow-skinned, with wide mouths and slant-eyes”. The enemy is the Dark Lord and he lives in the Black Land. The heroic hobbits and elves are, by contrast, uber-Aryan and ethnically pure. Ideals of “blood” and its purity are always sloshing around his narrative. For example, the Men of Gondor – “the high men” – are descendants of the Numenorians, the greatest of all warriors. Over the centuries, they have become “degraded” because of breeding with inferior races. When their bloodline is pure, as in Aragorn’s descendants, the strength of the original Lords of the West is retained.
Read Bjorn Staerk and then read Johann Hari. Can you tell the difference? No, neither can I. Mr Hari has provided definitive proof for what we have all long suspected: that no satire on the thought processes of the modern left can be regarded as exaggeration.
As well as writing for the Indie, Johann is also a regular contributor to Harry Hatchett’s blog where he and his fellow travellers are forever accusing free market campaigners of holding views which are ‘out of touch’ and ‘unpopular’. Deliciously ironic then that Johann should elect to publish his laughable denunciation not 24 hours before the British public votes ‘Lord of the Rings’ as their ‘favourite ever book’.
I am also given to believe that he is considered in many circles to be something of a rising star of the British left. Judging from this kind of form, I can only concur.
This is the same Johann Hari who asserted that Agatha Christie is a serious writer on behalf of the Conservative Party. Did he also write a script for the “X-Files”?
The Tolkein-bashing is silly of course.
In defense of Mr. Hari however, he was an anti-Saddam leftist with contacts with the Iraqi opposition, and wrote often against the anti-war movement. He was probably the soundest fellow in the Independent lineup on the subjects of Israel, Afghanistan and Iraq.
What I found most amusing was the paragraph in his Agatha Christie was serious writer on behalf of the Conservative Party piece as follows:
‘The Secret Adversary’ is an irresistible, bizarre reactionary fable written at the height of public anxieties about a general strike and the possibility of a British revolution. Tommy and Tuppence – Christie’s most under-rated recurring characters – are a sprightly young couple recently demobbed from the First World War forces and in search of a distraction from their tedious new lives. Gradually, they begin to investigate a powerful man “who lives in the shadows” known only as ‘Mr Brown’. He is a figure at the heart of the English establishment who is seeking to destabilise the nation and forment anarchy so that he can seize absolute power for himself. Gradually – in a politically outrageous development – it emerges that Brown is secretly controlling almost every progressive force in Britain: the trade unions, Irish nationalism,
the Labour Party and others.
So please, when it comes to The Big Read, vote for Salinger, Tolstoy, Brontë. Anyone but Tolkien.
Oh, right, because Salinger’s worldview is so superior. I mean, as long as we’re reading way too much into everything…
I guess the antiglobilization assholes in France trashed the Return of the King premiere.. Anyone got any info on that???? I cant remember where I read it.
Hmm. Four foot tall, big feet, curly brown hair. Yup, hobbits sure are Aryan.
I’m distressed to discover that Harry Hatchett’s blog has much the same colour and style as I’d been tinkering with myself. My God! We look similar to the casual observer: I must be a crypto-socialist.
David Carr said, “no satire on the thought processes of the modern left can be regarded as exaggeration…”
I agree, but check out the most recent episode of South Park, anyway. It’s called “Butt Out,” and uberleftie Rob Reiner is featured prominently. Pay special attention to the kids’ last words to Mr. Reiner. They could have sprung from my own lips, at any time since Mr. Reiner had the unparallelled gall to “lead” Californians into passing a 50c/pack tobacco tax. The main product of this tax seems to be the aggrandizement and political advancement of Mr. Reiner.
They also had a good episode in the last season or two, lampooning the Rings movies, or at least all the hype surrounding them.
People told me when I revived the People’s Blog that it was too close to the real thing. So I took care to throw in some really moronic statements for this one. Obviously still not enough! In the latest piece, I’ve advocated that Canada attack the US while its forces are stuck in the Iraqi quagmire. If that doesn’t ring any alarm bells, that’s it, I’m leaving the planet.
Debbie:
They did and you may have seen it here but they weren’t “strictly” anti-globos.
Just our “Showbiz Intermittents”, losy actors and untalented street entertainers who want to keep the privilege of getting one year of unemployment compensation for only three months of ‘work’. And don’t you oppress them, because art is not a merchandise.
That said, they’re so close to the anti-globos that it’s difficult to tell the difference, I give you that.
they’re so close to the anti-globos that it’s difficult to tell the difference
Especially from downwind, I’ll wager.
Did anyone else pick up on the palpable sense of disappointment when LotR won the ‘Big Read’ top spot last night on BBC2? You could almost feel the Bonnie Greer mind-waves beaming out with the message ‘anything but Tolkien anything but Tolkien…”
And I loved Simon Tolkien’s barbed comment about the potshots taken at his grandpappy’s books (though he did seem a little awkward, stood up there with his hands on his hips). I think he guessed how many of those potshots were taken by people in the immediate vicinity.
Best Book lists like this are ultimately pointless, but let’s face it: LotR and P&P were the only two books on the top 5 with any substance. The other 3 were talked up and freighted with so much ‘significance’ you just knew there was no way they could carry the burden. I mean, Harry Potter? Puh-leeze!! No one on the little panel of expert drivellers could quite put their finger on just why HP was so big – and no need to wonder why: there is no reason. The HP books will go the way of Billy Bunter/Greyfriars School – children’s classics, but no longer widely read in 50 years unless by adults trying to recapture their lost childhood.
The best book won. Why? Because the Sneering Classes wanted it to lose. Ha ha ha.
DF:
Were those “Showbiz Intermittents” the same folks who disrupted the Avignon festival last summer?
I seem to recall they were striking to protest something the French government did, and thinking, “Why the hell do they even have a contract with the government?”
Hmm. Four foot tall, big feet, curly brown hair. Yup, hobbits sure are Aryan.
Very good. You’ve saved this blog from a long ranting screed by me (with a nic like toolkien who would have guessed?). Suffice it to say that there are several examples in the books of ‘races’ commingling while reserving space for there own ‘kind and culture’. Various races live in Rivendell and two ‘races’ live in harmony in Bree. As for the physiognomy of the characters, Sauron himself was once ‘fair to look upon’ until his treacheries were revealed and his body burned. There is also a sympathetic passage relaying a viewing of one of the ‘brown’ warriors of Sauron and if he were truly evil etc etc also works as an anti-war statement as well. Accuse Tolkien of many things but the worst you could come up with here is his over simplification of characterization versus being a card carrying member of the Nazi Party.
Looks like our Johann is very very angry young man who has very little time for anybody else’s opinnion except his. His world is truly weird and very distored. Rather than correct his inane unintelligent rantings, I am going amuse myself by endulging to his views from time to time. HA-HA!
Ted:
Absolutely they are.
They’re not exactly under contract with the government (although it’s not very clear who is not in France, one way or another and like it or not) but they’re one of the numerous gangs of happy freeloaders whose unemployment benefits are paid by stealing the rest of the private sector.
The plan was juicy (and still is, to some extend): any worker in the entertainment or movie industry, from our big national movie stars down to the guy playing on an out of tune guitar in the subway, could apply, and get one full year of ‘compensation’ as far as they ‘worked’ a few hundred hours before.
A report exposed recently what we knew more or less for quite some time: that was such a good plan, and the conditions to benefit from it were so loose (I knew web and CG designers working that way – Showbiz can mean a lot of things) that it was an open call to misuse.
The result in 2002: they collected 124 millions (euros) of assessments from the ‘intermittent’ workers, but had to give back 952 millions to the same intermittent, as a compensation for the other part of their, er, activity ‘intermittence’.
Deficit: 828 millions of euros, and rising by 100 millions in comparison with 2001.
The rest of the private sector (i.e. the non ‘intermittent’ workers) were paying for them as usual.
The government has decided to lower the compensation period, for the same amount of worked hours, from 12 months to 8.
In other words: “Hey guys, work a bit more, or give up with jugglery and tambourine if you can’t make a living out of it.”
This past Sunday on the CBC’s Sunday Edition, their movie reviewer suggested “It’s a Wonderful Life” was a bad movie because capitalism is supposedly painted in a good light, and because George Bailey’s being shown how much his life affected others was ultimately about Bailey’s selfishness.
She really sounded like one of those US fundamentalist preachers whining on about most Hollywood movies.
There was a big campaign to prevent Tolkien’s “Lord Of The Rings” winning the B.B.C.’s best loved book award on Saturday night – virtually everyone on the show attacked the book.
However, the book still won. A friend of mine from Australia (who is not in the best of health – I am astonished that he managed to come from the other side of the world to visit some old friends)) watched the show with me and was deeply moved by the victory.
My visitor told me that he judged leftists by whether they liked L.O.T.R. – decent leftists did, and nasty leftists did not.
In my experience this is a fairly reliable method of judgement.