Are you ready, DVD Sports fans? Are you ready for Lord of the Rings, Part II?
It’s no good, I should’ve been a film star. Ok, so when I was seventeen I was spotty, overweight, and without any acting talent whatsoever, but I should’ve still been a film star. Under a socialist society I would’ve been spotted by now, for being an immense actor of charisma, talent, and conviction, but unfortunately, with society being still unprepared for my raw presence, under the evil rule of Mr Tony Blair, a hammish actor with only a scintilla of my ability to project compassion, emotion, and downright plain falsity, I was doomed to have to work for a living, to pay his bleedin’ wages. Damn!
Should’ve been a politician. But saying that, who is the the greatest Lord? Is it the Lord of the Flies, the Lord of the Dance, or the Lord of the Rings? (The correct answer, according to that sage, Alan Partridge, is number three.) With the second DVD, for Lord of the Rings film number two, due out very shortly, I thought I better prepare myself for its release, by checking out the first film again.
Marvellous. A joy. Perhaps the finest DVD ever made, with the sole exception of Casablanca, and the line about the inspector’s winnings.
After having listened to Ian Holm play Frodo, many years ago, on Sunday lunchtimes, in the BBC’s 25 week Lord of the Rings series, it was a great pleasure again to see him portray the rabscallion version of Bilbo Baggins, the pin-up choice for a hobbit generation. Is he an actor, or is he an actor? And will they make ‘The Hobbit’, as a Lord of the Rings sequel, before he’s too old?
But what about the rest of the film? Well, as a very sad person, I’ve spent the last twenty years alternating between The Silmarillion and the Lord of the Rings, every year, without ever quite figuring out why Turin Turambar ever got so evil. But there you go. And as for Peter Jackson’s first film of this epic series? Virtually faultless. Given several considerations of course. These are:
Trying to squeeze it into three hours is ridiculous. It needed at least seventeen. But given that the modern day cinema audience is struggling to manage even three measly hours, these days, he got everything in that he needed to get in. Let’s face it, Tolkien fans. Given three hours, what would you have cut?
And then there was Hugo Weaving. Come on, how many of you out there, when you saw Hugo, that illustrious and brilliant actor, come on screen, didn’t think ‘We meet again, Mr Anderson’? There’s no need to lie, here. This is Samizdata.
To temper this, of course, we have all the British actors, Ian Holm, Ian McKellen, Christopher Lee, and all the rest. What is it about British actors? Why are they so much better than everyone else? Even the latest USS Enterprise was captained by one, pretending to be French, being preceded by an English-tradition Canadian actor, William Shatner. Why can’t US actors hack the mustard when it comes down to it, in the monumental moment? Let’s face it, Sauron, the biggest baddie of all, is going to be played by an Englishman! As is Gandalf, Saruman, Obi Wan Kenobi, virtually all the baddies in the Die Hard series, and that Tim Roth bloke in the opening scenes of Pulp Fiction. Is that all we are to you, US people, a nation of actors playing eloquent baddies, often with very bad German accents? We’re still better than you at it, though, aren’t we? Ha ha ha.
Oh well, it could be worse. France could’ve landed first, and Arnie would’ve been saying ‘Je suis ici’. But then we got to Moria, and we have that moment when Gandalf releases a little serious light, which I always find strangely moving. (Which is really weird, because I know that it is just computer graphics.) And when he appears to die, all the American actors seem to really struggle with their accents, especially poor old Sam Gamgee, who goes from Welsh, to Irish, to Cornish, to Yorkshire, in less than four sentences. But I’ve done that myself, on occasion, so who am I to complain?
And I won’t even mention when Legolas looks to the left, as the Fellowship paddles south, whten he should’ve looked right, to catch Saruman’s troops on the west bank. This is nit-picking idiotarian pedantry at its very worst.
But honestly folks, in 20 years time, this Lord of the Rings film trilogy is going to be rightly hailed as a masterpiece, in line with Michaelangelo’s Cistine Chapel. It is a triumph. And I really really really can’t wait for this second DVD, even though I went to see the film twice, and I really really really can’t wait for the third film. It’s going to be emotional.
And was that Peter Jackson, the Director of the film, sucking a carrot and burping in the rain, as our hero hobbits entered Bree? This may be on a million web sites everywhere, but if it isn’t, it’s him, and I spotted him first. Tonight. Elf-tastic!
Yes that is Peter Jackson. He likes to cameo in all his films.
I also cannot wait for the Two Towers DVD. It is an awesome movie even if it did rape Faramir’s character. Everything else was pure genious…well except for the Nazgul at Osgiliath but everything else = genious!
[well except for the Nazgul at Osgiliath]
And the Wargs attack, and the — temporary — fall of Aragorn.
Not that I care about it being a screenwriter’s invention, it’s just that I’m still trying to figure out the point of this scene. Cheap romantism of the fallen hero, maybe.
But the rest is brilliant indeed. Helm! Helm!
Such a long way for Peter Jackson. Who would have thought that, when we jubilantly watched that little jewel of enthusiastic gore/sci-fi nonsense called Bad Taste, just a few years ago?
Er, how could Sam Gamgee’s accent possibly be wrong? Was the film set in England?
Squander Two writes:
Er, how could Sam Gamgee’s accent possibly be wrong? Was the film set in England?
Well, not in England, but of coure as you know, but the specific area of Hobbiton, in “The Shire”, which most Tolkien biographers seem to place either in Middle-Earth, as you might expect, or in the West Midland shires of Tolkien’s early youth.
So they should all really sound like Brummies! 🙂
But it isn’t that his accent is wrong, it just keeps changing throughout the film. So where Pippin the Took has a consistent accent, which sounds remarkably Scottish, and Merry has a consistent Buckland accent which sounds remarkably like a Northern England one, Sam has an accent which sometimes sounds Irish, sometimes Cornish, and sometimes vaguely Welsh, with a bit of Yorkshire thrown in (an accent which came from the Danes of the Dane-law, of course).
And given that Sam is the least travelled of the hobbits, in the film, never previously having been past that scarecrow, still deep in the Shire, you’d expect him to have the most consistent accent (even sounding remarkably Catalonian, if you like :), rather than the most inconsistent one, wobbling all over the place.
It’s only a very very very minor quibble, though, and one which doesn’t in any way spoil the film, I think. As when you’re seeking perfection, of course, as in a pure-cut diamond, tiny flaws set off the character of the structure.
Most people find my own personal accent hard to place. I gained most of it in Carlisle, which lies at the end of the Earth, somewhere between Manchester, Newcastle and Glasgow. We Carlisle-accent speakers never sound Scottish, but can sound to other people like we’re from anywhere between Liverpool and Berwick-upon-Tweed. Especially those of us who grew up trying to not sound like we were from Carlisle, because we wanted to escape from it and eradicate its memory, as soon as possible after leaving school. But now, remarkably, after many years, I actually like the Carlisle accent, which my sister still has quite strongly, which may mean the anger of my teenage years is finally beginning to dissipate.
And don’t get me started on accents on the Archers, a program set in Borchester, in the English midlands, with accents varying from Somerset all the way across to Suffolk. Used to drive me barmy! 🙂
I’m probably one of the few losers who didn’t bother to read Lord of the Rings when I was younger. I tried to read it as an adult and it didn’t grab me quite like I wanted it to (please don’t flame me). But, I think, from talking to many of my fellow geek friends that this has probably helped me enjoy the movies a little more. My wife and I left the Two Towers with our jaws on the floor. All we could say was, THAT is what movie making is supposed to be about. The characters, the scope, the sheer epicness of it, the sheer audacity of it. It was simply awesome to me. I spoke with friends about the…uh…liberties that Jackson took with the plot and they were a tad dissappointed in these things, figuring they’d appreciate it more on 2nd & 3rd viewings. But, I just wanted to note, that with not having the baggage of reading and loving the books, I thought the Two Towers was possibly my single greatest cinema event I had witnessed (I’m not saying it’s the best movie, just that it at least attempted to encapsulate everything I’d want from a movie). And I agree, when the trilogy is done, it will be a masterpiece for all time, and if the Oscars don’t get their head out of their ass, I’ll throw in the towel on the last relevant awards show.
As for English baddies, I don’t know what it is, but you guys produce some all timers. I believe Die Hard is the single best cheesy action flick of all time, and Alan Rickman the best cheesy action villain of all time. An absolute classic. Maybe, there’s just something sinister about English spoken properly (as a southern American, I certainly buy that). Thanks Andy, for this nice diversionary post.
By the way, Rickman does Snape in Harry Potter.
I can be disturbing when actors slip out
of accent mid-film. Nicole Kidman has
trouble falling into a kind of half-Aussie/half-American accent.
Have you noticed though, that certain characters
always go to Americans…
Legolas
Aragorn
Han Solo
Luke Skywalker
This pattern is itself a cliche. I remember a
cheesy film by Disney called Drangon Slayer
that had all English actors except the young
Wizard was American.
If you want a pure-hearted slightly impetuous
character who will “grow” into an important role
cast an American.
I don’t make the rules I just observe them.
If you want a character who is already sure of
himself and set in his ways (good or bad).
Stick in a Brit (like a piece of fine imported
furniture).
Just having fun, no flames.
Andy,
I know what you mean about people with accents from in & around Carlisle. Utterly unplaceable. And I’m good at placing them.
I, too, have an unplaceable accent. It’s a mixture of London, Glasgow, & Belfast, combined with an uncontrollable tendency to pick up the accent of whoever last spoke to me pretty much instantly. Which was entertaining when I worked on the phones in a national call centre.
We’ll have to agree to disagree over Sam. I thought he sounded consistently Devonian, and I’m usually hyper-sensitive to accents (I have been known, on a good day, to distinguish Derbyshire from Yorkshire). You obviously heard something in there that I didn’t, and vice versa. But hey.
Remember when loads of Scots criticised Mike Meyers’s accent in Shrek? Honestly, some people. None of them objected to the Donkey’s accent.
Russ,
Most actors claim that they prefer playing bad guys, so the domination of the bad-guy market by English actors could just indicate that they’ve got the most cut-throat agents.
Alan Rickman is a true master of the art of sinisterity. I was totally gobsmacked by his portrayal of De Valera in Michael Collins.
And I know what you mean about not reading the book. I read it maybe four or five times when I was a kid, but I’m really grateful that I haven’t read it for, oh, about fifteen years and can’t remember too much detail. The films are much better for not having my subconscious nitpicking while I’m trying to concentrate.
J.H.,
I might be wrong, but I’m pretty sure Orlando Bloom, who plays Legolas, is a Londoner.
But, then, generalisations are always wrong.
I wasn’t so sure on the Legolas issue, but
I war nearly certain that Viggo Mortenson was
some sort of American.
Anyway, the rules aren’t hard and fast there
definitely seems to be a certain recipe that
producers work with whether they’ll admit to it
or not.
And then there was Hugo Weaving.
“I must take the ship from the Grey Havens. I must get out of Middle Earth. It’s the smell, I can’t stand the smell…”
And I won’t even mention when Legolas looks to the left
When I saw The Fellowship of the Ring for the first time, I thought it was nearly perfect, so the three tiny things I would change were much more noticeable:
Gandalf and the Balrog fighting. I thought they should fall in some sort of death grapple. Gandalf is supposed to be an amazing wizard, but he gets killed by careless stupidity. Although the time delay does set up a cool opening for The Two Towers.
Legolas looks left, when he should have looked right. (The map was clear in my head. They are rowing south. The Uruk-Hai are on the Western shore….)
The shot of Sam and Frodo walking away from the boat when Legolas and Aragorn talk about following them (or not). Here is the most important think in the world (the ring), and it feels so *irresponsible* to just let them go while you watch them. With that shot before Boromir goes over the falls, Aragorn’s decision would play better.
I didn’t care so much at the time, but if I could have the movie changed, I would also have Saruman say “You know they awoke something in Kazah-dum, shadow and flame,” so that Gandolf could later say “A Balrog, a demon of the ancient world. Now I understand, and I am so tired. This foe is beyond any of you. Run!”
Sam’s accent completely disappears in the opening scene of Two Towers too. It isn’t until his second or third line before he sounds something other than a yank. That’s a pretty bad way to start a movie, accent-wise.
Viggo was an after-the-last-minute replacement for the Irish Stuart Townsend. Jackson had already started filming when creative differences about the part caused him to fire Townsend. He literally had a day or two to recast the part. Mortenson had to accept without ever seeing a script. (his son told him to do it–son can be seen in TT right before the battle of Helms Deep, when Aragorn checks over a boy’s sword, the boy is his son, who also worked as a researcher on the film.) Viggo flew down to NZ the next day and filmed the Weathertop scene within a couple of days of Townsend’s firing. It was a feat in itself for the guy to come in and do a fight scene on his first day.
So…it wasn’t originally meant to be an American playing the role.
It wasn’t creative differences; it was the fact that the “original” Aragorn was too young for the role, as the producers noted a few days into the shoot. (“This isn’t feeling right… we need to recast NOW.”)
And as for Hugo Weaving, I have to say that I see him climbing into a big pink bus more than anything.
For those who find a mere DVD inadequate, click on “The Ring as One” below.