Burglars and street robbers are to benefit from new rights under proposals announced today by the government.
The extension of the existing rights regime is contained in the Employment (Non-Lawful Activities) Consolidation Act 2003 which has passed its second reading in the House of Commons and is due to take effect from 1st January 2004. Under the new legislation, all burglars are street robbers will be entitled to a maximum of six weeks paid paternity leave and a similar period of statutory sick pay. If any burglar or street robber is a member of a gang or criminal organisation, they will also now be able to claim compensation for unfair dismissal.
A government spokesperson rejected criticisms of the new legislation:
It is simply an administrative measure designed to extend basic protections that already exist for all other employees.
The Equal Opportunities Commission broadly welcomed the new legislation but said it did not go nearly far enough. Spokesperson Elaine Simper-Sweetley said:
The lack of rights for workers in the crime industry is nothing less then scandalous. We believe that this is a step in the right direction but the government must do more to protect burglars from negligent and exploitative householders.
Ms.Simper-Sweetley added that the Commission would continue to campaign for existing Health & Safety legislation to be extended to protect both full and part-time criminals.
A fairly smart fellow in the culture wars on the US side of the pond, Dr. Alan Kors, chalks up most of modern “liberal” tendencies to adherents of Frankfurt School philosopher Herbert Marcuse.
Marcuse, like his spiritual godfather Antonio Gramsci, thought that the only way to bring about a true revolution, dictatorship of the proletariat, etc., was to turn the existing social order upside down.
Toward that end, the “hegemonic” class – white males, police, judges, political authority figures – had to be shouted down. The voices of the “oppressed” had to be privileged. Along with the economically poor, the spiritually poor — criminals, prostitutes, lunatics, and thugs — were to be given great voice. At all times and in all places, the actions and statements of the “oppressed” were to be championed over the voices of the “oppressors”.
Most of us grew out of following sophomoric philosophers when we were sophomores. Not the left…
So when you see the lefties hugging the likes of cop killer Mumia Abu Jamal, or championing the scum that your Norfolk farmer recently ventilated, or even championing Saddam Hussein, it’s not stupid, or accidental, or just coincidental. It’s part of a larger scheme that radical leftists are following to destroy and destabilize the existing social order. Pity the morons who sign on to the cause of the week, fancy-ing themselves the champions of the downtrodden… And kick them right in the nuts if you get the chance. They aren’t our friends, and in fact, they are serving our enemies. This particular brand of leftism is stupid, nihilistic, and sophomoric; and it’s coming soon to a town near you if it hasn’t already.
And when you see the idiots on the Birmingham City Council denying construction permits because a streetside curb hasn’t been analyzed to make sure that it won’t be racist or sexist… at least you know who to thank.
Simper-Sweetley?
The scary thing for me is that what with all the seemingly crazy true stuff you fellas report from “over there” I sometimes have a hard time telling when you’re being facetious.
I always thought Marcuse used to play for Man United…
With the new concern for occupational well-being of ” workers in the crime industry “, it seems that unionization would be the next natural step.
But, then. They already have that.
It’s called “the Mafia”.
Gracious God!
Nihilistic? Self-defeating, self-sabotaging, self-parodying, self-deluding…
And that’s just an Eye Opener!
“burglars are street robbers” is such a loaded term which can harm the industry’s perception. I believe discrete entry and removal operatives is much more suitable.
This is satire, right? It’s hard to tell from over here in the western United states.
When asked if they would be opposing these proposals Conservative spokesperson O. Letemin replied “Well, we shall be asking the Government for certain assurances on behalf of innocent householders whose rights should not be overlooked ,but in answer to your question Jeremy no , as you well know, we are not the kind of party which wants to be nasty to Britain’s criminal community despite what our opponents allege.”
Omnibus Bill writes:
“Marcuse, like his spiritual godfather Antonio Gramsci, thought that the only way to bring about a true revolution, dictatorship of the proletariat, etc., was to turn the existing social order upside down.”
Excellent and informative post, Bill. It is always helpful to trace a river back to its source. If nothing else, in this case it so clearly confirms the method whereby this virus has been spread – as many of us have argued for so long, through the West’s corrupt and rotten education systems.
G Cooper:
I’m sure you meant to say “.. through the West’s corrupt and rotten [public] education systems.”
Right?
…is this a joke????
“The lack of rights for workers in the crime industry is nothing less then scandalous. We believe that this is a step in the right direction but the government must do more to protect burglars from negligent and exploitative householders.
– Elaine Simper-Sweetley”
..what the heck??
Simper-Sweetley tipped me off that it was satire too, that and there being no link to the story.
Which is indeed scary; I”m in the Western US too, and everything coming out of Britain has been so whacked out, that I wasn’t sure at first either.
How long do you guys give it before the Elected Panopticon Dictatorship in the UK has you all chipped properly?
Unfortunately your joke became true today when Tony Martin was refused parole because he poses a threat to burglars. You really couldn’t make it up.