Who says the Germans don’t have a sense of humour? By extending constitutional rights to animals they have presented the world with a cornucopia of comic possibilities [“Sheep claim Wool-fare benefits”, “Rabbits sue for workplace hare-assment”].
It is rather less amusing to contemplate the scope of this. Exactly what animals does it extend to? Rats? Cockroaches? Amoebas? Viruses? Will innoculation become a war-crime? Will fly-paper become an offensive weapon? How many Germans are going to bask in the warm glow of self-righteousness when they find that the mice in their kitchens are protected from eviction?
Like all the best comedy, it is actually the height of absurdity. Animals have only one right and that is the right to be served in the appropriate sauce and whilst it is deeply morally wrong for humans to be wantonly cruel to animals or subject them to unnecessary suffering, this is far from the same thing as declaring that those animals have ‘rights’.
If a dog is as good as a human being then a human being is no better than a dog. But in the through-the-looking-glass, relativistic and future-phobic world of the European polity, reversing the last two million years of agonising evolutionary development is seen as ‘progress’.
“The main impact of the measure will be to restrict the use of animals in experiments.
There hardly seems any point. The Germans are suffering from a sickness of spirit that no amount of medicines will ever cure.
