The European Commission convened an emergency session today to urgently discuss a response to the eruption of the Mount Nyirangongo volcano in the Democratic Republic of Congo
“This is a very serious situation” said Hans-Pieter Blinkenblankenblonken the Dutch chair of the Committee for Pompous Pronouncements. “The Congolese will now have access to the highest quality building materials that could threaten the livlihoods of our European producers” he added
The delegate from the German Green Party, Annaliese Klumpf said: “This volcano has simply erupted without even any consultation process. It is completely unacceptable, undemocratic and flies in the face of all European opinion”
The French Minister of Duplicity, Bertrand Maginot was furious. He condemned Mount Niyragongo as a “shitty little volcano” and called for urgent measures to protect French quarries from what he termed “these unfair volcanic practices”
The Commission agreed that these unregulated volcanic eruptions posed a grave threat to the environment and European jobs. A draft resolution was unanimously adopted demanding legislation to curb unfair volcanic activity worldwide and the setting up of a committee to insitgate and oversee a set of formal consultation procedures to be implemented before any further eruptions were permitted to take place
